I’ve been in two relationships that could be considered “long distance”. One of the relationships was with a girl who lived 2 hours away from me. Two hours isn’t necessarily TOO bad…but the fact that during this time I was a sophomore in high school and couldn’t drive made things pretty damn difficult. Kind of makes it hard to have any sort of relationship when you can’t drive. Having mom pick you up and drop you off on dates is…NOT AWESOME. Needless to say, we broke up within 2 months.
The other relationship was with a girl who lived about 40 minutes away (I realize this isn’t TOO long distance and is pretty normal nowadays, especially in big cities, but to some even 40 minutes is an insurmountable distance). At this point, I could drive, and DRIVE I DID. I think I drove back and forth to visit her at least 4 times a week. I’m a freaking idiot. DAH! I swear I spent a crapload of money on gas that year, and (no lie) I’m still paying back some of those credit card bills from this relationship…FREAK.
So, are long distance relationships doable? It’s hard to answer this with either a definitive yes or a definitive no. I tend to lean more on the “no” side. However, I think that there are genuinely some people in the world that can handle a long distance relationship. The problem is…in order for any relationship to work, you need TWO PEOPLE. And so finding a COUPLE that can both handle a long distance relationship is EXTREMELY difficult. This is only referencing pre-marriage relationships. I HOPE that if you’re married you’ll make the long distance relationship work…
Here are some things to consider before plunging into a long distance relationship:
1.) Are you the jealous type? If you are psycho jealous heebie/sheebie stalkerish, then I’m going to say that getting into a long distance relationship will be one of the worst decisions you make. I can see it already…you sitting beside your computer waiting for EVERY SINGLE facebook update so that you can make sure your “significant” other isn’t cheating on you or hanging out with some handsome guy or beautiful girl. Any time another girl/guy writes a facebook wall message, you quickly call your boyfriend/girlfriend and ask them if everything is okay. Oh man, I can’t even imagine what you would do if your significant other uploads a picture of himself/herself hanging out with another cute guy/cute girl. WOW.
Yea. If you’re the jealous type you definitely shouldn’t get into a long distance relationship. It’s going to destroy you both emotionally and mentally. Especially if you’re THIS type of person…
2.) Will you guys be “not long distance” in the near future? Part of deciding if you want to get into a long distance relationship or not is determined by this simple question: Will you guys be long distance for a long time? Look…if you’re going to be apart from each other for more than 1 year, I really think you guys should just reconsider. Human interaction is SOOO important. Most of us in the 21st century are “out of sight, out of mind.” Think about how many people YOU’VE lost touch with over the years. People that you thought you’d NEVER lose touch with are now afterthoughts in your busy present life…you know those “College can’t keep us apart! Who cares if you’re moving to ALASKA and there’s no way for us to keep in touch! We’re BFFS FOREVER XOXOXO, LOVE YA!” Then two days later…
Long distance relationships are a lot of work. TRUST ME. It’s not easy. I remember my first year of college, all of the “high school sweethearts” thought they could “be the ones” that make it. Everything goes SUPER well the first quarter. However, when second quarter swings around, every time you walk out into the dorm hallway, you see some girl crying in the corner (guys, here is your perfect opportunity to SWEEP IN), or some guy yelling in frustration and anger (girls, probably not the best time to try anything…heh). Then by around third quarter…GG. GOOD GAME. RELATIONSHIP OVER. Then you see that in like a week or two they’re in another relationship with someone in college…SUCH IS LIFE.
3.) How much money do you have? Because traveling is going to be a bitch. No way around it. If you guys live far from each other, anytime you want to see each other you have to spend a crapton of money just to do it. Either you’re going to have to ring up those credit card bills (and regret it years later), or have a lot of money on hand. Whether it’s driving in a car, or paying for airfare…how much money do you have? And if you’re a girl who has a lot of money (anyone with at least 1 million net worth) and wants to get into a long distance relationship…feel free to give me a call. I’ll be more than happy to compromise on your behalf. I’m so selfless.
4.) How busy are both of you guys? If both of you guys are SUPER BUSY, then it COULD work. However, if one of you guys has too much free time on your hands…GAME OVER AGAIN. It’s going to get annoying for BOTH SIDES. The one who’s not busy is going to call you all the time, bitching and moaning about how “you never have time for him/her” these days. They’re going to be constantly sending you text messages, facebook messages, emails, BBM messages, whatsapp messages…I’m pretty sure you’re going to throw your phone at a wall in frustration. Just make sure if it’s an iPhone or something expensive, you “softly” throw it at the wall. Or throw the case and keep the phone.
If both of you guys are too busy for each other, even if you live 10 minutes from one another it’s going to feel like a long distance relationship anyways. And if this is you…SUCKS TO BE YOU.
Conclusion: There are a lot of things to consider before getting into any long distance relationship. I could list at least 5 more topics off the top of my head, but that would make this post way too damn long and my fingers are already getting cramps from writing 1019, 1020, 1021 words (1022). The bottom line is this. IF YOU REALLY THINK you can do it, give it a shot. People are so afraid of relationships NOT working that they don’t even try. I think that is an egregious error. Even failed relationships teach us a lot and help us to mature and grow as individuals.
Which is basically my way of saying, CALL ME. LET’S MAKE A MISTAKE TOGETHER!