Saturday Update

Another school week over
I made it in three days this week
So not too bad
Anxiety is still crippling me
Especially in the mornings
But I am trying my level best
And I am keeping in contact with my tutors to let them know what is happening
They assure me that I will catch up
And not to worry
Easier said than done
In order to deal with the anxiety
And despite getting no help from my doctor
I've been using my own methods to deal with it
Namely my meds
And haven't been taking them properly
It occurred to me that this might be effecting my mental health
So I decided to tell my doctor yesterday
When I told him about the meds
And my anxiety
He asked me why I hadn't mentioned it before now
Eh hello?
I've been talking about this for weeks already!
Anyway
He increased my anti anxiety medication
And also increased my methadone a little bit
With a view to reducing over the coming week
To get back to my usual 22ml dose
I also have to collect my meds daily
And be supervised taking them
I don't mind too much though
If it helps me get back on track
I will do what he says
This week is going to be tough though
And I may even experience some mild withdrawals
I guess I will just see how I go
I mean I know meds are not the answer
They are a temporary fix
I need to figure out how to deal with anxiety, depression, addiction, disordered eating without popping a pill
I would   be so interested in finding out about other holistic ways of deAling with these things
I guess I need to find what works for me
In January
I am starting a programme called WRAP
Which is wellness recovery action plan
It's on in my school
For two hours a week
Myself and another girl are doing it
So hopefully that will go some way to help
I just can't go on like this
I'm driving myself and everyone around me completely bonkers!
Anyway
In other news
I am single handed looking after all the animals on my road
As well as my white pony friend
I also found a beautiful brown horse
Who I brought a carrot to yesterday
I also introduced Honey and Lea to the white pony
The pony was very curious and interested
The dogs not so much
I took a video which I will try and share
I have nothing really else to report
I am hanging in there
And I will keep hanging
2016 is nearly over now
It's hard to believe
This year has gone by so very quickly
Sometimes I just want to freeze time.
And press pause
Sometimes time goes by too quickly
That it's passing by in the blink of an eye
Also
I want to take this opportunity
To wish you my beautiful bloggers and your families
A very happy and peaceful Christmas
2016 is nearly over
Let's hope 2017 is kind to us all
Much love
Take care of yourselves
And each other...