Diaries Magazine

Sandpit Salvage

By Parentalparody @parental_parody
For the past few weeks Miss5 has been coming home from school bearing treasures. A piece of BluTak.  2 paperclips joined together.  A rubber band.  Old stickers. Sandpit salvage You know, kiddy treasures. Now, most parents would think to ask where she got them. But I'm far too busy with homework and dinner and stopping the three of them from enacting Natural Selection upon each other to ask. Until she bought home a used chapstick without a lid. Then I'm all like "So...ahh....Miss5....where exactly have you been getting all these treasures?" "The sandpit.  The one between kindy and pre primary." Oh awesome. Imagine the volume of delightful germs that are hidden in a sandpit frequented by dozens of 4 - 6 year olds. And my kid is the one digging for treasure, bringing home literally ANYTHING she gets her hands on. Including a used chapstick missing its lid. Sandpit salvage Oh. The. Horror. Finally, good parental instincts kicked in as I grabbed her, rugby tackle style, and rushed to the sink to wash her mouth and associated entire facial region, determined to scrub off any trace of used lid-free chapstick that could well have been laying in wait collecting sandpit germs for YEARS. I'm only slightly ashamed to admit that I would only let her kiss me on the hand for the remainder of the week, until I was certain she was not carrying any communicable diseases. She has been given a stern talking to about not taking stuff that doesn't belong to her. And is being frisked and patted down every afternoon before I let her in the front door. Because, safety first.

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