Humor Magazine

Rule #26 – The Customer is Always Right

By Don Mega

Rule #26 – The Customer is Always RightThe customer is always right. Especially when that customer is me. Now this isn’t a new rule by any means, but it appears, after a recent experience with Dish Network’s customer service, that some folks need a quick refresher. The following chat transcript should speak for itself.

Please wait while we find a representative to assist you…Welcome to DISH Network Chat.

Pierce: How may I help you today?

Don Mega:  Hi, I have a question about a program that appears to be blacked out tomorrow on my Guide.

Pierce: I am sorry to hear that you are having an issue. I’d be happy to resolve that for you.

Don Mega:  On channel 429 – Comcast Sports Chicago at 2:00PM, the Chicago White Sox baseball game is on…and it should be available in my area, but it’s not allowing me to DVR it.

Pierce: Okay. May I know the name of the sport please?

Don Mega:  Baseball.

Pierce: Thank you. Are you referring to this game: Pittsburgh Pirates at Chicago Cubs?

Don Mega:  No. Like I said above, it’s the Chicago White Sox @ Cleveland Indians on CSNCH Ch.429 at 2:00PM CST.

Pierce: Okay. Are you referring to this game: Chicago White Sox at Cleveland Indians correct?

Don Mega: Hi, I’m Earth. Have we met?

Pierce: I see that the game starts at 3.00 PM. You can watch that game.

Don Mega:  Well when I select that game to record it on DVR, it says it’s not available in my area.

Pierce: I see that this game is not blacked out in your area.

Don Mega:  Yes, I already knew that. Why can’t I DVR the game?

Pierce: Let me check that for you.

Pierce: I am sorry you cannot record all the games. This game may be copyrighted so that is the reason you are unable to record.

Don Mega:  But I’ve always been able to record games. My father has the same subscription in the same area and he can record it.

Pierce: Okay. Did the game started?

Don Mega:  It’s tomorrow. At 2:00PM CST. Baseball. White Sox. Dish Network. You work for them. Remember? Are you on drugs, Pierce?
Don Mega:  I just want to be able to DVR the game since I won’t be here.

Pierce: I am sorry you cannot record it now. You should setup DVR time on the receiver so that you can record it.

Don Mega:  /Slams head on desk three times.

Don Mega:  That’s what I’ve been trying to do! When I select that time slot for it to record in the future (tomorrow at 2PM), it does not allow it. It says the game is unavailable.

Don Mega:  So how, pray tell, can I set the DVR to record it if that’s not even an option?

Pierce: Let me check that for you.

Pierce: I see that you have to add Multi sport package on your account in order to get the game.

Don Mega:  Yes, I have that package. I’ve always had that package.  I thought you pulled up my account.

Pierce: I see that you are not having the Multi sport package on the account.

Don Mega:  So why am I watching that channel this very second?

Pierce: Let me check that for you. May I know at what time you are trying to set the timers?

Don Mega:  Now you’re just messing with me, aren’t you Pierce? For the third time, the game is TOMORROW AT 2:00 pm CST.

Pierce: I am sorry the game starts at 3.00 PM.

Don Mega:  I live in the Central Time Zone…the Game starts at 2:00 PM here, per the DISH Network Guide on my TV screen that I am looking at right now…it runs for 3 hours. I’m selecting the game right now with my remote. I see the freaking game that I want to record and it says its unavailable!!

Pierce: You can try to set up the timers through online account also.

Don Mega:  Can you walk me through that process?

Pierce: Let me check that for you.

Pierce: Please unplug your receiver from the outlet and leave it unplugged for 15 seconds. Plug it back in, you may have to power the receiver back on. This may take up to 2 minutes.

Pierce: Did that work?

Don Mega:  Let me check that for you…Yes, it looks like that worked.

Don Mega:  Well I don’t know about you, Pierce, but this experience was better than sex. Thanks again. You were tons of help.


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