Humor Magazine

Rule #23 – Home Brew? No Thank You

By Don Mega

Rule #23 – Home Brew? No Thank You
So you can brew your own beer. Good for you. That doesn’t mean you have to tell me about it every five minutes. Hey look! Another status update on Gary’s Russian Imperial Stout! Looks like the fermentation of the mashed grains is well underway…whatever the hell that means. Does this shit even taste good? Am I going to actually enjoy drinking this garbage or is one glass going to make me feel like I just consumed an entire loaf of bread?

What’s wrong with running down to the local Stop & Go for a case of Bud Light – you know, that creepy place around the corner with the bullet proof glass protecting the cashier so they don’t get robbed three times a night? What’s wrong with their beer? It’s dirt cheap. If you’re underage, you can probably find a vomit-scented homeless guy in the alley to buy it for you. And best of all, you don’t have to wait for freakin’ ever to drink it. This stuff is ready to go right out of the box. So while you’re hanging out in your garage wearing your white lab coat, pretending you didn’t fail high school chemistry, I’ll be getting hammered on the best Milwaukee has to offer (I know this because it says so on the side of the can).

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go chop down a tree. I’m making my own notebook paper.

You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • How To Become "Parent Whisperer"

    I watched a documentary recently that inspired me. It's called "Buck." This man is a horse trainer/philosopher/life coach on whose work the movie "The Horse... Read more

    6 hours, 51 minutes ago by   Joanigeltman
  • How to Get Perfect Everyday Curls

    Perfect Everyday Curls

    Today’s post is sponsored by HerStyler. As always, all opinions are my own.  I’ve had a lot of people ask about my hair recently. My hair is naturally curly... Read more

    7 hours, 19 minutes ago by   Thesamanthashow
  • Launching This Month | Anastasia Beverly Hills Subculture Eyeshadow Palette

    Makeup lovers of this era are very well familiar with two of the famous Anastasia Beverly Hills products, their Dip Brow Pomades and the Modern Renaissance... Read more

    7 hours, 43 minutes ago by   Gorgeouslyflawed
  • Keto Chimichurri

    Keto Chimichurri

    Meal plansGet lots of weekly low-carb meal plans, complete with shopping lists and everything, with our premium meal planner tool (free trial).... Read more

    7 hours, 52 minutes ago by   Dietdoctor
  • Ellen’s Stardust Diner

    Ellen’s Stardust Diner

    Entertainment while you eat!The breakfast was outstanding and I was totally defeated the day I tried the Breakfast Burrito that was so much food, yes it... Read more

    8 hours, 5 minutes ago by   Caz
  • Top 5 Inatur Herbal Products for Dry Skin

    Inatur Herbal Products Skin

    Hello pretties, you know what. I have been wondering of late that if we have so many good herbal brands in India, why do we venture out and invest in foreign... Read more

    8 hours, 30 minutes ago by   Jhilmil D Saha
  • The Untreatable Borderline Personality Disorder Client: A Therapeutic Nightmare

    Borderline Personality Disorder is one of the hardest disorders of all to treat. It can be improved with some therapies but the road is long and hard. Many... Read more

    8 hours, 39 minutes ago by   Calvinthedog