Exodus 14:22 “And the children of Israel went into the midst of the sea upon the dry ground: and the waters were a wall unto them on their right hand, and on their left.”
Sometimes life just sorta does that to ya… you’re left with a huge wall of water on one side and great expectation and horror of “what if” the wall of water collapses… and yet your’e in GREAT EXPECTATION of what’s ahead… that was me, about a few years ago… yes indeed!
I was deep conversation with my husband this morning and we spoke about a really interesting topic. That topic was: “ disappointment”.
He asked the question: “How do you handle disappointment, Jennifer?”
I then realized that I usually I don’t expect it. I suppose that’s how I tend to handle it.
How then, DO YOU HANDLE something you don’t expect ?
That’s the freedom in this revelation. Interesting, because this is a new thought for me to acknowledge. I used to ALWAYS expect the worst. In fact, I would SAY the worst was going to happen, and because I said it, IT DID.
As I pondered this over in my mind, I tried to think about the time when My fears and reservations transferred from “not believing”, to believing. I couldn’t pinpoint an event or time, that this shifted for me, but I could pinpoint a season. It keeps going back to 2005 – the absolutely worst, yet BEST year of my life. I transitioned immensely during this year. My greatest gift gained? TRUST. Have you ever noticed in the word GREATEST is the word: TEST? Go figure…
So let me tell you all that happened:
1. I moved to a small town where I hardly knew anyone, to be closer to my job.
2. I lost a good, close friend.
3. I inherited a large sum of money and relocated to Maryland.
4. I bought a new car.
5. I moved to Md. thinking I would be hired for a new job, then it fell apart.
6. I was betrayed badly by someone I loved and it broke my heart.
7. I didn’t pass a state exam I needed in order to be licensed in Maryland.
8. I met and befriended friends that were extremely supportive and I know I will have for a lifetime.
9. I couldn’t pay rent for three months.
10. I didn’t lose my car.
11. It took five months for me to find a job.
12. I never went without eating, my refrigerator was ALWAYS full. Friends would bring me groceries.
13. I drove on “E” several times and never ran out of gas.
14. I contemplated moving back to NY with my parents at the age of 38.
15. When (God) found a job (for me) paying me significantly – enough to sustain me well. I made more money than I ever had – I could work from home, it involved advocating for children and writing which I loved, I worked only four days and week, and could go in at 10:30 am.
16. I got divorced, after being separated for two long years.
17. I met the man of my dreams, literally- at the end of that year. (Long story!)”
These were only a few of the miracles that happened that year, but they were awesome things that changed the course of my life, tremendously. I held on in such a way that I only would expect GOOD. I couldn’t afford to think differently. I studied God’s character like I never had before, and God helped me to see myself and proved how much He loved me. He described this period as a time of giving me “Manna”-the same food in which He sustained the children of Israel when they were lost in the wilderness. I talk more about it, in my book and how blessed I was to receive this ”manna”. I will talk more about it, but manna – in the Hebrew is explained as “What is it?” – it’ s basically the stuff you can’t understand.
I believe “manna” and spiritual maturity come hand in hand. 2005 Grounded me. At the Red Sea experience, Moses, as the author writes how “they walked through on DRY GROUND. This experience helped me to see who God was more clearly, and also to see his hand upon my life. God is a life-preserver. When I think about all the things that could have happened to me during this year and did not – I sincerely feel the protection of God that helped me- and continues to help me – NOT give up, remain encouraged and enlivens me during the hard times. My Red Sea opened…and I walked through.