Healthy Relationship Tips
You may have heard ads promote, “A vitamin (or apple) a day keeps the doctor away.” In other words, being proactive each and every day ensures you’re doing what you can to keep your body functioning at its peak.
It follows that being proactive daily in the relationship you share with your partner will help keep your connection functioning well. Make it a habit to do one positive action every day to ensure your relationship stays healthy.
Recently a couple shared insight that had com
e as an “ah-ha” experience for them. We had been chatting about the progress they’d made to reach the goals they had set as a couple. Both the husband and wife were my A+ students as they embraced the counseling process to their best advantage, working hard reading every book suggested and completing all assignments given.
They seemed exceptionally excited about their progress this day so I asked, “Just what are you doing to achieve your goal that is different now?”
“Well,” the husband began, “it’s like this. Every morning before I get out of bed, I think about what I could do for Sally that day to make her happy or to help her day flow easier.”
He continued, “I then think about what I could do to make our marriage better just for that day. It’s much like taking a one-a-day vitamin. You just do it, and then continue on with your day.”
In this particular counseling session the couple had expressed concern about backsliding as they grew a stronger relationship. Since they felt they achieved most goals set, they didn’t want marital conflict to take them by surprise.
We discussed relapse prevention and how to be aware of the triggers which could set off misunderstandings leading to unsuccessful problem resolution. Relationship relapse prevention uses many of the principles recovering alcoholics follow. You simply stay away from the places, people, and situations which may have been catalysts for past problems in the relationship. In other words, if you know a topic might be dangerous to discuss, simply “Don’t go there” without a strategic plan.
Along with avoidance, positive proactive measures are important to keep a relationship moving forward. This was the husband’s one-a-day approach. If a couple focuses on having positive experiences, chances are they will happen. While relapses do occur in any relationship that is growing and changing, taking proactive measures will help avert setbacks. Each partner should recognize his or her mistakes, take responsibility for them, offer sincere apologies, and move forward.
Relationships take effort. It’s often the little things that make the biggest difference. The power of one small positive thought or action can make all the difference in your world.
