This weekend I attended my first ever Relationship Discussion party. I’ve never known anyone to throw a party to discuss relationships but none the less, I got myself together and went out of curiosity of what the party entailed.
The event was held in someone’s backyard but it was nicely done in which a circle of men and women (I counted 32) sat around a fire pit and had a mediated conversation. We were asked to write our questions down and put them in a bag to be drawn. I chose not to write a question down and told them anything I have to ask, I’ll just ask. It reminded me of sex education in high school when the teacher asked us to write our questions down about sex because most of us where to embarrassed to ask.
Apparently, there are a lot of bitter heartbroken women in the world, well at least on the South Side of Chicago it is. Some of them were flat out angry and had no problem letting their frustrations be known. One woman described how she stayed with a cheater for fifteen years and knew he wasn’t any good after year five. She claimed she stayed because she felt like she could change him and things would get better. My response to that, in life we all have choices and the number one mistake women make is thinking that we can change someone. If you choose to stay with a man after he has cheated on you several times, you then need to blame yourself. At some point we say to ourselves, we can do better, unfortunately some people realize that early on and some don’t. People will only do to you what you allow them to do!
I got to hear various questions that ranged from why are men so cheap to do size matter. The men chimed in, shared insight, and basically confirmed that they are simple and basically have less emotion then we do, well there’s a shocker! The men also spoke up on sex and how they are turned off by prudish women in the bedroom, and how women claim they want a good man but when one approaches they go for the one that’s not so good. On the issue of shacking up, I basically stated that marriage was not that big of deal for me anymore and I would happily live with someone before marriage. Sometimes we are more in love with the idea of a relationship then the actual person we’re in a relationship with. I don’t want to be with anybody for the hell of it; it’s a waste of my precious time.
After being there for almost 4 hours, I still wasn’t sure who the mediator was and if he had any type of qualifications but he did a good job at mediating and allowing everyone to speak.
Overall, did I leave enlightened with new insight into how relationships function…hell to the no! However, I enjoyed the conversation, meet some nice people, got new topics to blog about, and spent a beautiful Saturday night out. Every relationship is different and has its own dynamics; we all have different wants and needs. It doesn’t matter if you’re straight, lesbian, gay, or in an interracial relationship they all require work, communication, and a solid commitment to each other. My intentions were to get the mediators contact information because I actually do love listening to a male’s point of view but I had another party to attend. After listening to everybody’s tales of love gone wrong it was time for me to exit and listen to some music…and of course drink some more wine.
Would you consider having a relationship discussion party? Maybe you’ll let me mediate