Pressing In and On!

Its crazy how certain things affect us as humans. Sometimes our hurts turn into scars that run so deep we are not even aware of it. I never really understood what writers block actually was or how annoying it could be until recently. So bare with me as I delve back into my passion. I will start by sharing some of my personal journey with you. I began my writing as a child and found it was something that came quiet naturally to me. I used writing as an outlet to express myself through poetry and short stories. Today it is still a source of great joy to me. A while back I prayerfully decided to go full force with my writing and see what doors might open for me. I sent word out that I was available for free lance writing projects and sent my portfolio to a few local magazines. Not long after that I was asked to help launch a new East Texas magazine. Of coarse I was beyond excited about the opportunity to get in on the ground floor of this magazine. I jumped at the chance, giving it my all, networking and bringing in new clients for the advertising end of things. I was also the first writer hired for the many articles the magazine would be publishing, which left me a nice array of topics to choose from. I dove right in spending countless hours researching and interviewing people for the plethora of upcoming stories, articles and reviews. The more I wrote the more inspired and excited I became. After a while deadlines kept getting pushed back for one reason or another. Eventually the project was shut down completely. Funding just wasn’t there to get the magazine off the ground. I had to walk away with no articles published, no magazine, no writing gig...absolutely nothing. I felt utterly crushed, defeated and heartbroken. This thing I had put my heart, my time and countless hours of hard work into had crashed and burned before it had even taken flight. All I could do is ask God why. Why did you allow this to happen Lord? Why was the rug pulled out from under me when I did my very best? WHY!? Not receiving the divine answer I sought, I began praying for peace. I shut it out of my mind and tried to just move on. I never realized that I was merely stuffing that hurt and in the process snuffing out the creative fire that had always burned deep inside of me. As time has gone by I have tried countless times to pick up a pen or pound the keys to no avail. Every time I would try my heart would sink as I realized I had NADDA. I would walk away feeling defeated over and over again. Eventually I stopped trying all together. Did it help? NO it most certainly DID NOT help. Why? Because when there is a gift inside of you, a passion, it may grow quiet or lay dormant for a while, you may even try to bury it. But.... rest assured it is still there. Those gifts are placed within us by our creator. We will only be truly fulfilled in our lives when we are stirring up those gifts and using those talents. I am now pressing in and on ,trying to rekindle that spark again. God uses all we are called to do to bring Glory to him and fill us with the satisfaction of following our dreams. The enemy will try anything within his power to keep us from walking into our destiny, whatever it may be. Embrace your gifts and passions and you will be honoring His name in the process. Who knows where this creative road may take me, but this I do know... as I travel it, He will be holding my hand throughout the journey! *** Angela Jennifer ***