Dating Magazine

Planning for Motherhood—eventually

By Datecoachtoni @CoachToni

There is a growing trend of women in their thirties freezing their eggs in order to help ensure they will be able to have children in the future. It’s not cheap and can run from approximately $13,000 to $18,000. Many of these would-be Moms are single, others who are married want more time in their career or are just not quite ready to have children yet.

According to the doctors who perform this service, many women are having a hard time finding the right partner—and with the average age of first marriages going up, women are concerned that their fertility may not wait until he comes along. There are also all the often reported concerns about “older” eggs that are pushing women to help their motherhood years stand still or at least increase the viable and safe choice window.

Facebook and apple are now covering this treatment/option, which is probably very good for their bottom line as it will help them to both attract and keep female talent. It seems that guys are OK with the whole idea—after all, it could actually take some pressure off of them if the loud ticking of biological clocks could be quieted.

It all sounds like a great solution to a problem many women today are facing. However no one seems to be really talking about the inconvenient truth that we can’t stop or slow down the clock on our lifespan, and these future moms will be older and maybe much older than anyone had planned. Of course this doesn’t mean they can’t be great Moms, and theoretically they will have more resources, maturity and time to give their children. But they will have more age related issues and will not have as many years with their kids/grandkids as their peers who had children at a younger age. There are never guarantees and many younger parents live shorter lives and leave young children—it’s just that this has the potential to increase. Grandparents may not be as available or even still alive and the parents’ peer group may have moved on to a whole different lifestyle phase which can leave the parents in a kind of social limbo with much younger adults as the parents of their kids’ friends.

Again, none of these has to be a deal breaker. However anyone contemplating having kids in their late 40’s and 50’s may want to give it careful thought beforehand. There’s no such thing as having it all, all at the same time—we give up something to get something else. It’s a long road and we can’t quit just because we are tired. Science has allowed us many more choices and opened up new avenues for our futures. But the one thing we seem to never stop looking for is the fountain of youth. It’s never been found and this is because it (most certainly) doesn’t exist. Kids are an incredible joy and blessing and they change our lives in ways we can’t imagine before we meet ours. Just make sure you are willing and able to go the long and often challenging road raising a child takes you down—n o matter your age when you take the first step.


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