Diaries Magazine

Outrageous Pregnancy Allegations

By Parentalparody @parental_parody

Outrageous pregnancy allegations

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Too outraged to blog today. Was innocently enjoying a pool-side cocktail, when some moron actually said: So are you worried about having twins again? Cue a look of confusion from yours truly. You know, this time around (said nodding towards my stomach). Considered faking pregnancy and just going with it. Until I realised I was swigging a cocktail. Tossed up the pros and cons of appearing to be an irresponsible mother, drinking while pregnant.  Have most likely already nailed that impression regardless of alleged pregnancy drinking. Thought better of it, and instead decided I would much rather relish the embarassment and mortification of the moron who dared assume I was pregnant and not just 'well fed'. So very politely informed them of their stupidly idiotic and false assumption - in a really nice, sweet manner.  Obviously. Heh. Off shopping for an industrial lycra swimming cozzie tomorrow. And a voodoo doll in the likeness of the vision impaired moron. Note to self : Lay off the pasta.


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