One Year On...

This morning I did something I've been wanting to do for the past 12 monthsI agonised and stressed over it lotAnd felt incredibly guilty for what I had done the year previouslyBut first Rewind Back 18 months You may remember I wrote a post called 'Caught' if I remember correctly It told the story of how I was caught shoplifting in my locality It was a real low point for meAs you also may remember Up until last year I was having a lot of issues with shoplifting That started with foodAnd then spread to other areas like clothes and jewellery They say you shouldn't shit on your own back door And stupidly That's exactly what I didI went in to the shop that day Browsed The shop owner was there Chatting to someone I asked if I could try on a couple of items And brazenly I put a top on under my clothes And walked out of the shop I was half way down the road When I heard someone calling me I nearly died when I turned and saw the girl from the shopShe ran up to me And asked if I had taken a topI couldn't lie I said I had She asked where it was I said it was under my clothes She told me to take it off then and there in the street I pleaded with her to let me change in the shop It was a real rock bottom for me I don't know if anyone was watching it years our exchange It's very possible that they did Anyway She marched me up to the shopI remember a police car passed us on the way The girl was fuming And rightly so I remember her saying that because I had stolen from her shopShe took it personally So I followed her to the shop Where I changed and handed her back the topShe basically told me to get out And not show my face in there againI was just so grateful that she didn't call the guards My whole ice would have changed for the worse if she had I left the shop with my tail between my legsUtterly crushed and mortified
So Since then I have avoided that shop But a few months after it happened I felt a huge urge to return to the shop To explainAnd to apologise But I just couldn't find the courage to do soFast forward to this morning I was walking down the Main Street of my town Having been in the doctors I was approaching the shop When I saw the girl outside doing something to the window All of a sudden I realised that this was my opportunity I called out to her She turned And walked towards me smiling I asked her if she remembered me At first she didn't But after a few seconds It began to dawn on her who I was I told her how I had wanted to approach her for so long And apologised profusely for taking from her shopI explained that I had suffered with addiction and other mental health issuesAnd that I was in really bad place when I stole that topI also apologised for putting her on the position where she had to be bad copShe was very warm and understanding I explained that I was now in a much better place And asked if I could start coming in to her shop again She said yes no problem She thanked me for the apology And told me to stay on the straight and narrow I walked away from the girl Feeling so relieved that I had the chance to apologize to her And I think I left it just the right amount of time since the event Enough time for her to cool down And for me to get myself togetherIt's just so good to know there are no bad feelings about the situationAnd I can know return to shopping in that store 
This is big for me To face the person who I had wronged took a massive amount of courage and swallowing my pride It just goes to show how far I have come I would never dream of stealing now And as I said to the girl Being caught was a turning point for me Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom to knock some sense in to meThat situation could have turned out a whole lot differently And thankfully it didn't Because if she had called the guards that day And prosecuted I would now have a criminal record And I wouldn't have got the job in the holiday center this summer It would have had a huge knock on effect for me So I am just so grateful to that girl For giving me a chance And for not involving the authorities It just goes to show That people are mostly decent and good But it definitely taught me a lesson And if nothing else Then it was a good thing