As promised, I’m here to share five lessons I learned on how to be in the relationship of your dreams. For those of you who haven’t been following the journey of how I met the perfect man, you can do so here.
One of the most valuable things I got out of my self-development course (Landmark) is that I am responsible for my life. That I not only have a say, but I actually have THE say in how my life goes. And that if something isn’t working, I have the power to do something about it. So for those of you who cringe at the word ‘responsibility’, here’s a head’s up: Everything I’m about to say will be based on the notion that YOU are responsible for creating the kind of life (and relationship) you want. And look, I’m not saying it’s the truth. I get that sometimes things happen that are beyond our control. However, ‘responsibility’ is a place to stand, and it will give you more power to live your life as the ‘CAUSE’ of it, rather than at the effect of it.
On that note, here’s the first lesson:
Lesson #1 Admitting that you don’t ‘know’ everything
I used to know everything. Like every single thing. I knew exactly what kind of man I was looking for. I knew what he should be doing for a living. I knew that he wouldn’t be Indian. I knew where we would live. I even knew what our lives would look like – we would have dogs and no kids. We wouldn’t get married. We wouldn’t own a house.
Man, that’s a lot of knowing, isn’t it? At that time I didn’t see how ‘limiting’ it was to KNOW everything. I thought I was so smart! But it turns out by me ‘knowing’ everything, it was equivalent to putting myself in a box. Not only that, I was also trying to put whoever I was dating inside a box – I had to make him fit into what I already knew.
When I started falling for and dating Mr V, I had to confront the fact that this wasn’t at all what I ‘knew’. He wasn’t the kind of guy I knew to date, yet it felt so right and he made me so happy. What’s more, I started to want all those things I ‘knew’ I didn’t want. I remember Mr V asked me on our 2nd date if I wanted kids, and to my surprise, I didn’t respond with a No. I was slowly breaking out of my own box, and it was so liberating to not know for a change!
So I invite you guys to give up that you know everything. In fact, give up that you know ANYTHING. Life is full of discoveries and surprises, and you might meet the man of your dreams if you come out of your box :)
