Love & Sex Magazine

Non-starter

By Maggiemcneill @Maggie_McNeill

How can I convince my wife to see an escort with me?

The short, pithy, and not-entirely-accurate answer is, “You can’t.”  Now, hear me out; I’m not just being a killjoy.  That answer is based on some assumptions, hence the “not entirely accurate” descriptor; if any of these assumptions are incorrect, the short answer also might not be.  However, I’m willing to bet that even as it is, it’s hovering around the 75th percentile of applicability.

Non-starterFirst of all, if your wife were the “game for anything” type, you probably wouldn’t have asked me this question; the two of you would’ve already discussed it, and even if she said “no” prior experience would almost certainly give you a hint as to how to proceed in convincing her.  I’m also going to assume that she has never expressed a strong interest in bringing another woman into bed with you; if she had, it would’ve been a simple matter for you to say, “That sounds like a great idea, but we should probably just hire a pro so as to avoid awkward situations with friends and the uncertainty & weirdness of trying to pick up a gal together at a bar or party.”  I’m even going to assume that she has not openly (or even coyly) expressed a desire to “spice up” your sex lives, because that would’ve given you an opening to suggest something.  No, I’m going to assume that you’ve had a pretty vanilla sex life so far, and that you have a fantasy of being in bed with two women that she doesn’t (to your knowledge) share.  And if that’s the case, please reread the first line of this column.

Now, there are a few caveats; you might try making a kind of vague suggestion about spicing up your sex lives, and see where that leads you.  But before you do that, I need to give you two warnings:

A) It’s not unusual for vanilla amateur women to react to such a suggestion by taking it personally and getting angry at you for insinuating that your sex life is boring; the mere suggestion may precipitate an argument in which work, children and the fact that you don’t pay much attention to her any more will almost certainly be mentioned.

B) Even if A doesn’t happen, most vanilla amateur women’s idea of “spicing things up” is a “romantic” (and much more expensive than hiring me for two hours) vacation to a quaint little bed and breakfast.  Or Hawaii.  During which you may or may not have the same kind of boring sex you’ve had for years, only in a different (and much more expensive) bed.

Non-starterDo I sound a bit jaded?  You’ll have to forgive me; even before I was a professional I had a long history of being “the other woman” (for partners of both sexes) and the understanding friend who consoles people over their romantic difficulties.  And I’ve seen this script played out on a regular basis since 1983.  The sad fact of the matter is, the majority of modern American women have been thoroughly brainwashed into the belief that male sexuality is inherently pathological, and your desire for variety will be dismissed as a sign that something is wrong with you and/or that you don’t love her any more.  Please don’t take this as meaning I’m letting men off the hook; there are plenty of things men could do to improve their marriages, but that wasn’t the question which was asked.  And though men are usually more receptive to trying out their female partners’ fantasies than vice versa, that isn’t necessarily the case if said fantasy threatens his delicate ego in the same way that a man’s desire for variety can threaten a woman’s sense of security.  Furthermore, I can assure you from both personal experience and the experiences of female friends, vanilla men are every bit as likely to be squicked out by kinky fantasies they don’t share as vanilla women are.  My advice to any man who wants to be in bed with two women is, unless your wife has clearly expressed interest in such a thing, just ask an escort to arrange a duo for you; you’ll get what you want without drama, and it’ll be a lot cheaper in the long run.

(Have a question of your own?  Please consult this page to see if I’ve answered it in a previous column, and if not just click here to ask me via email.)


You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • Artisanal Skincare Holy Basil Cleansing and Toning Water Review

    Artisanal Skincare Holy Basil Cleansing Toning Water Review

    As we all know how important the toning step is in our regular CTM routine. Lately I have been loving floral waters or hydrosols as toners and so far I have... Read more

    12 hours, 59 minutes ago by   Skincarevilla
    HAIR & BEAUTY
  • Soon By You Episode 4: The Dates | Soon By You (video)

    Soon Episode Dates (video)

    David and Sarah finally go on their first date. Jacobs explores foreign avenues for a love connection and Noa, Ben, and Z take up volunteering. Read more

    14 hours, 15 minutes ago by   Gldmeier
    RELIGION, SOCIETY, SPIRITUALITY
  • Locaflea Summer Jam 2017 Starts Today in Ahmedabad

    Locaflea Summer 2017 Starts Today Ahmedabad

    Shopping is the best remedy, someone said it and it’s true, especially when your city is boiling and the temperature stays beyond 38 throughout the day or even... Read more

    14 hours, 25 minutes ago by   Hetal Shah
    FASHION
  • Summer Makeup Tips for Long Lasting Makeup

    Summer Makeup Tips Long Lasting

    Hey everyone today’s post is very informative and very useful for the hot scorching summer time. I am going to talk about my most used summer makeup tips for... Read more

    14 hours, 39 minutes ago by   Sugandha Choudhary
    HAIR & BEAUTY, LIFESTYLE
  • A Very Nice Day

    Very Nice

    Thursday dawned bright and clear and rather cool -- a perfect day to be outside! Shelia, my friend since 7th grade, was in town and offered to come over and pul... Read more

    16 hours, 48 minutes ago by   Vickilane
    CREATIVITY, PHOTOGRAPHY
  • 33, And Counting…

    Counting…

    I have 33 job applications out there. …Have taken 5 Interviews so far, and every day at work is like trying to survive a crawfish boil…as a fucking crawfish. Read more

    17 hours, 22 minutes ago by   Shewritesalittle
    CREATIVITY, SELF EXPRESSION
  • Hypermasculinity – Sometimes It’s Not All About The Girls

    Hypermasculinity Sometimes It’s About Girls

    16th December 2012. A 23-year old student was not just gang-raped but tormented and beaten in the most barbaric way possible on a moving bus. Read more

    18 hours, 40 minutes ago by   Scribe Project
    SELF EXPRESSION

Magazines