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Never Seen It! Sunday, Forgotten Frights Edition: The Cottage

Posted on the 23 October 2011 by Cinefilles
You know when youre talking to someone you think is like totally happening in a far out way and they ask if youve seen their favorite movie and you lie and say you seen parts of it because you dont want to seem like a total pop culture pariah? Yeah, we do tooand we hate ourselves for it! Thats why we’re vowing to watch at least one movie weve put off, ignored, rejected or just plain-out forgotten about every other week from now on. Join us as recount the popping of our cinematic cherries, complete with awkward, over-analytical details!

Never Seen It! Sunday, Forgotten Frights Edition: The CottagePhoto: impaawards.com
THE COTTAGE

DATE RELEASED: March 14, 2008 (U.K.), April 29, 2008 (direct-to-DVD U.S.)
DATE ACTUALLY WATCHED: October 22, 2011

WHY NOW? Keeping with this months theme of Forgotten Frights, I asked readers for their recommendations. Although Im not so into comedy-horrors, this one seemed to take horror seriously enough, embracing gore and the gritty, desolate setting.
WHY NOT THEN? Besides being a forgotten horror, its also a Brit movie, sending it even further off my radar. On top of that, it wasnt even released in theatres in North America, instead going straight to DVD.
EXPECTATIONS:
  • A lot of blunt gore.
  • Not too much of a story.
  • Intense chase scenes.
  • Andy Serkis proving that he is a worthwhile actor beyond CGI-ed characters.
  • Not laugh-out-loud funny, but snicker funny.
  • The perfect horror setting, a cottage lost deep in the thick woods, with creaky floorboards, cobwebbed corners and dusty surfaces.
WHAT I ACTUALLY GOT...
  • A lot of blunt gore, bordering on too much, but not quite.
  • More of a story than I expected. Actually, a complex two-part story that never delves too far but provides enough not to leave any major gaps. But along the way, far too many whats going on now?! moments.
  • Only two chase scenes really. So dont trust the trailer, which gives you the assumption that there will be so many more.
  • I'm still on the fence about Andy Serkis. When he's not CGI-ed, hes unlikable, like in this film where hes the mastermind behind the kidnapping of a woman. But theres still hope that hell one day have the opportunity to show as a non-CGIed character the emotional range he showed as Caesar in The Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Or the creepy darkness of Gollum in The Lord of the Rings.
  • More snickers than I thought. Contagious snickers I should add.
  • A seemingly Wrong Turn-inspired setting and villain. Not original enough, but the film has enough originality otherwise to make up for it.
ONE NIGHT-IN STAND OR SECOND DATE POTENTIAL?
Although I wont be seeing this one again, its opened me up to seeing more comedy-horrors, knowing that they actually have the potential to be both scary and funny, despite being a very cheesy sell.

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