Diaries Magazine

Nailed It : School Award Acceptance

By Parentalparody @parental_parody

Nailed it : School award acceptance

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Last week Miss9's class had their turn hosting the school assembly. Much woohooing from me as the theme did not require a hand made costume or any expensive store bought accessories never to be used beyond her 5 seconds of fame. Miss9's big role for the assembly, besides the exceptionally long opening act, was to stand out the front and hand out the merit awards. Sounds fairly easy and harmless, right? Sure - until I was advised by her teacher that Miss5 would be receiving an award at said assembly. Which is great if your kids like each other and you can cherish the Kodak moment of big sister handing little sister her award and shaking her hand. But for my girls, it meant almost certain smackdown. In front of the entire school, the teachers, and a fair few parents. Parental panic set in.  Lest they make me look bad. As I was about to deliver Miss9 to her class, I pulled her aside and let her know that her sister was going to be receiving an award.  I suggested she give her a quick cuddle when she went up to accept the award. I figured this would be quite sweet, but also ensure that she released her grip on the award in order to hug her sister.  And her little sister, in turn, would be so shocked by the show of affection, that she wouldn't mutter shed words at her and attempt to headbutt her. FOOL PROOF. Kind of. Here's the blow-by-blow..... Miss5 was the first child called up to receive her award. Miss9 went in for the hug. Miss5 flinched. I held my breath waiting for the headlock and/or headbutt, with a side of shed words and screaming. Miss9 attempted a kiss. Miss5 shrugged out of her grip and stood in line, holding up her award. I wasn't expecting her to be called first.  I was expecting a number of stock-standard hand shakes before her.

Instead, parents not aware the girls are sisters likely thought "Whoa, that's a step up on the usual congratulatory handshake - we have a hugger and a kisser?!?!?" And most parents there would not have known they were sisters.  So, essentially, everyone would've been a bit puzzled / disturbed. Miss9 resumed the standard amicable handshake for the remainder of recipients. Miss5 resumed picking her nose.  In front of everyone. End result : Girls did not lay the smackdown on each other or scream obscenities. NAILED IT.


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