Books Magazine

My Answers To Literary Would You Rather

By Robert Bruce @robertbruce76

On Friday, we played a game of Literary Would You Rather.

I asked stupid questions. You provided (mostly) smart answers. I enjoyed reading all of them.

Today, I thought I’d give my take on those questions and see what happens.

So here you go:

1. Would you rather live in Stalinist Russia or actually live on an animal farm—like, not in a house or anything, but actually with the animals?

Do you think the smell in Stalinist Russia resembled an animal farm? I think I’ll go with Russia. That would be a horrible way to live, but at least I would have a roof.

2. Would you rather read nothing but horror novels for the rest of your life or romance novels for the rest of your life?

Horror novels for sure. I’d rather crap my pants from fear every day than read anything with Fabio on the cover.

3. Would you rather have to eat 10 hot dogs in one sitting or read Infinite Jest backwards?

Seeing as I’ve read Infinite Jest forwards, I’ll go with reading it backwards. It would take much longer, sure. But do you know what’s in those hot dogs? 10 of them? My GI system would never be the same.

4. Who would you rather have as a son: Holden Caulifield (The Catcher in the Rye) or Alex Delarge (A Clockwork Orange)?

This question might have been too easy. I’ll go with Holden. I’ll take the typical rebellious teen over the psychopath rapist teen any day.

5. Would you rather write a famous classic and have to give up reading literature forever, or write in obscurity while reading as much as you want?

I can’t give up reading. I write in relative obscurity anyway, so we’ll go with that one.

6. Would you rather read exclusively on an e-reader or “read” (listen) exclusively to audio books?

I prefer the traditional paper book. But if forced to pick between these two, I’ll go with the e-reader. I’m way too ADD to enjoying audio books. My listening comprehension is similar to that of a 9-month-old.

So that’s it.

If you missed the game on Friday, feel free to chime in with your answers today.

We’ll play again soon!


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