Danny Trejo is the baddest and toughest motherfucking Mexican alive. That’s it.
Plot: Machete kills….everyone.
Machete (Danny Trejo) is a former Mexican Federale who plays by his own rules, and doesn’t answer to anybody. In the wake of a harrowing encounter with feared drug lord Torrez (Steven Seagal), Machete finds himself in Texas, where the shadowy Booth (Jeff Fahey) offers him the opportunity to make some quick cash by assassinating the unscrupulous Senator McLaughlin (Robert De Niro). When the job goes awry and Machete realizes he’s been set up, he turns to fierce taco queen Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), heavily armed holy man Padre (Cheech Marin), and trigger-happy socialite April (Lindsay Lohan) to show Booth that he just messed with the wrong Mexican. But before they can get to Booth, Machete’s gang will have to contend with blade-wielding ICE agent Sartana (Jessica Alba), who never met an adversary she couldn’t flay. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rovi
Who the hell didn’t see Grindhouse and think, “I want a motherfucking Machete movie”? I know that was the first thing out of my mouth and then what followed was just utter adoration for Rodriguez possibly, maybe, giving us a Danny Trejo film franchise. Sure enough, it came true and the result was pure mayhem and Mexican badassery.
Rodriguez does the Mexploitation genre some wonderfully, warped justice. Taking a topical, political argument about immigrants and border security, I give him a little credit for letting his stance be known, but also for being a bit too heavy handed. Still the lead up to the films climax between the Mexicans and the vigilantes is paved with severed limbs and glorious, Grindhouse trimmings. Sex, violence, gore, explosions, more violence and general scene chewing cheesiness is everything I wanted from this movie and I got that and much more.
I really don’t know what else to say about this movie. I mean we literally got a movie that was based off of a fake trailer in a film series that is based on B-movie goodness, except with a high budget. It revels in the glory of uninhibited, ultra violence while titillating us with just a sensory overload of humor, sexual situations and pure Trejo goodness. The massive ensemble cast of actors and actresses just pile on top of the over the top nature of the film. Robert De Niro, Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriguez, Cheech Marin, Steven Seagal, and Tom Savini are just a few names that span several ranges of acting. The violence is just absolutely glorious and depraved. Robert Rodriguez might be trying to make a point with the plot of illegal immigration and all, but then again, it’s a Mexploitation film that exploits every possible facet of violence and dark humor that you just bask in the general insanity of this movie.
To close, Danny Trejo, you are my hero.