Animals & Wildlife Magazine

Missing Connections

By Lauren Smith @AlbatrossTales

This post was inspired by my recent perusings of the Missed Connections on Craigslist. If you haven’t read through them and are looking for a complete time-waster on the internet (and are over 18, as some contain mature content– also, don’t open anything with a picture) I recommend it. Some of them are very entertaining (“You almost hit me in the WalMart parking lot, but you’re so hot, call me”). Oh so romantic. 

To get you in the right mood, here’s a song by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals called “Loneliest Soul.”

—-

  • The cute guy at Old Crow Medicine Show 4th concert—

You were dancing next to me, with your mesh trucker hat, plaid button-up short-sleeve shirt, Chacos, and climbing shorts. We made eye contact once, and then you disappeared in the crowd of identically-dressed men, all of which were more or less of equal attractiveness. So pretty much any guy who was at the concert can feel free to call me… Let me know what color my Crocs were so I know it’s you. (Hint: they’re orange).

I need something 
But I get nothing 
My hearts pumping 
I can’t leave it alone 
I think you know 

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  • Climber-dude we ran into again at Music on Main—

We first ran into you climbing at Rodeo Wall with your friend. You both had your shirts off, and were leading some pretty good routes. We chatted. You had eyes for my friend. I had eyes for yours. We ran into you again, this time with your mesh trucker hat and plaid button-up shirt, at the Music on Main concert in Idaho the next day. You look better with a hat on (the jury is still out on the shirt). Also, my friend is quite willing to be flung. So go for it.

  • Climbing gym patron with The Spot sticker on your car—

No idea who you are, but seeing that sticker makes me homesick for Boulder. I just want to say hi and reminisce about Colorado rock for a while. Also, since you seem to have a gym membership, we should climb sometime.

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  • Trombone player in Marching Fourth Marching Band (the one with the leopard booty shorts, studded belt, calf-skin cape and white drum major hat, not the one in the kilt and cut-off t-shirt)—

Your outfit makes me question your sexuality a bit, but then again you are a trombone player. I was quite impressed by your chops and by your acrobatic ability as you stood on the shoulders of the male dancer and helped lift up the female dancer. If you want to duet, I’ll bust out my clarinet and we can play some funky music, white boy.

  • Dude in the Toyota 4Runner—

You gave me a weird look as I was sitting on the side of the road with my collection of 10 ft mist net poles, large backpack stuffed with mist nets, banding supplies, and a scale, waiting to get picked up after a morning of bird banding. Yeah, that’s right, I saw you looking at me. Anytime you want to come learn about bird banding, you are more than welcome to visit our banding station. Just stop on by, I’ll give you a personalized tour.

Sweet dreamin’ 
Strange feelin’ 
My hearts reelin’ 
I can’t leave it alone 
I think you know

  • Bartender at Thai Me Up—

We talked about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie that was playing on the tv above the bar. I ordered happy hour curry and a beer. You brought me a huge stack of napkins, and then a rag to mop up the curry I couldn’t seem to keep on my plate. I promise I’m not usually that messy, it’d just been a long day and I had just finished climbing at the gym. Invite me back (and pay for my curry) and I’ll prove to you I have better table manners. Also, I want to see the end of the TMNT movie.

—-

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  • Guy on Mountain Project

You messaged me about climbing in Pennsylvania a year and a half after I put up the post. Not sure what part of “I’m in PA for 6 months for an internship, looking to get out and climb. Will only be here until November” you didn’t understand. I have since then had two different internships in two different states, and have accordingly updated my Partner Finder profile. But yes, we can totally meet up and climb maybe sometime when I’m back East in three months. Because I definitely want to spend my three days at home driving two hours to climb at McConnell’s Mills (40 feet tall, 25 routes total, especially after living in Colorado and Wyoming with Eldorado Canyon, the Flatirons, and the Grand Tetons less than 20 minutes away in my backyard. I’m always looking for climbing partners, especially ones who can’t read real well.

Are you lonely 
Like I’m lonely 
I am the loneliest soul 
So leave me alone 

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