After watching a glowing, happily pregnant and ENGAGED Ms. Portman accept her Oscar for Best Actress; Mr. Huckabee was moved to weigh in on the “problem” of wealthy, celebrity single moms providing the wrong role model for all the young women out there who could be influenced to view having children without or before marriage as a good choice for them.
Mr. Huckabee talked about the unrealistic picture that gets painted when women who have exciting careers and plenty of financial and other resources have children without being married and talk about how wonderful it is and how well it is going for them. Mr. Huckabee’s point is that the great majority of single moms struggle to support themselves and their children and live on welfare and/or below the poverty level. Their lives, according to Mr. Huckabee- are grim, not glamorous.
He does have a point. His comments may have been a bit hard hitting and certainly not politically correct; however, the statistics back him on this one. Unmarried moms struggle financially because many have a poor education and dismal employment opportunities. As a result, they slip into poverty if they did not begin there- and their children grow up in a financially and often emotionally unstable environment. If moms don’t get their needs met and have the basic resources to raise children and meet all their needs- the cycle of poverty and all that goes along with it will continue.
Yes, it’s important to raise these important issues- but it should be done in a way that does not lay needless blame on women who find themselves raising children alone. After all, a certain percentage of single moms got that way through abandonment, divorce or the death of a spouse. For others who had children without marriage coming first got to that place in their lives through a variety of different circumstances, and blaming them is not productive nor will it help to prevent other women from ending up in a similar situation.
Children need stability, structure and security. Actually, we all thrive with this in the framework of our lives. Two committed people who love and support one another is a cornerstone to an “ideal’ child raising environment. This is why knowing yourself, assessing your relationship readiness and making conscious choices about who you will choose to be a life partner and co-parent are important prerequisites to parenthood and to creating the best life for yourself and your child. In an ideal world, this would always happen. Until then, understanding, support and education would provide more real help than criticizing the choices of the few- however tempting this may be.