Now don’t laugh cause you just might make a Top 10 list of mine or make it into one of my short stories and end up reading about your later!
So those of you who follow me on Facebook or Twitter, might notice that I complain about the hot temps in Delaware frequently! It’s not necessarily the HEAT but when you add Delaware’s extreme HUMIDITY into the mix, we get a cranky perimenopause 45, almost 46-year-old, hot mess of cranky bitch! Without further adieu, let me introduce you to my Top 10 Peeves about Summertime (in no particular order)!
PEEVE #1 – HUMIDITY
When I get up in the morning and have to walk my dog prior to going to work in the morning and end up getting soaked and feel like I just got out of the damn shower!
YES THIS SUX!
When you’re outside trying to do anything outside but you can’t because you feel as though you pissed your pants because your undies are soaked!
YES THIS SUX!
PEEVE #2 – TOURONS
Yes, these are the out-of-staters and/or the upstaters that head South to the beach areas. They feel as though they own the roads and everything else around them. Well I’m going to let them in on a little secret, YOU DON’T! Just because you are stupid enough to come spend money at our dirty, expensive beaches, doesn’t give you the right to act like a horses ass and diss on the locals! Cause if you do, you might find yourself stuffed in a corn field somewhere or worse yet, in one of our back woods where, well…… do you remember the movie…..DELIVERANCE? If you hear banjo music, ya better get running!
PEEVE #3 – SNAKES
Warmer weather brings out SNAKES! I don’t care if black snakes eat mice around here or if garter snakes are harmless, bitches still BITE if confronted! We also have copperheads around here and they will put a major hurting on you!
My land is about 1/2-3/4 acres of protected woodlands that has a creek running through it. All you nasty, sneaky little snakes can spend all the time you want down there BUT do not come above the wooded area or you will give shot, staked, or slaughtered with a shovel! You’ve been forwarned!
PEEVE #4 – BUGS/INSECTS
Along with the sneaky snakes, we get nasty little biting FLIES and MOSQUITO’S! Not to mention TICKS that will suck you dry and give you Lymes disease! Let us not forget all those different kind of bees and wasps that will make you shit your pants when you see them coming OR when you accidentally swat one and they sting you right on your boob!
PEEVE #5 – LONGER DAYLIGHT HOURS
I don’t know what your sleep hours are like but in my house, the hubs and I are usually in bed around 7ish pm watching tv and getting furbaby settled and ready for night-night. Mind you, I lay there a few hours longer watching tv while furbaby and hubs snore away.
PEEVE – even with blackout curtains, you can still see light coming in cracks and crevices! This makes it very difficult to fall asleep because your mind is telling you “IT’S TOO EARLY IDIOT!”
PEEVE #6 - SCHOOL IS OUT
Now if you’re a parent, it may or may not be good for you when school is out. HOWEVER, as a family with no children and several in the neighborhood, this is not good. They like to tear up the streets in the daytime, running and hollering, and making a ruckus. IF you have a furbaby is very protective of his property as well as the street and the neighbors houses around yours, this is not good! Baby boy will be in guardian mode all day and if you get to close to “any of the above properties I mentioned above”, he will MARK in your house! Yes, it is only a boy furbaby’s nature to do so and a furmommy and furdaddy’s nightmare!
PEEVE #7 – ITSY BITSY CLOTHES
Do you know how totally disgusting it is to see a man, who looks 15 months pregnant, shirtless and showing CRACK? I see these kind of people everyday at work and quite frankly, I’ve literally lost my lunch on numerous occassions! Not to mention the 250 lb. (and no offense to anyone that weighs that much) woman who thinks that tube tops and daisy dukes are still in fashion!
I’m here to tell you, they might be fine on a little skinny girl with no boobs and bum, but anyone else? YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF AND QUIT WEARING THAT SHIT!
PEEVE #8 – THUNDERSTORMS
I know it’s a natural thing but repetative thunderstorms and lightning are DEFINITELY not cool! They wake you up at night. You think bombs are going off. And they probably scare the shit out of your furbaby or your child and make your night’s sleep before work, NOT HAPPENING!
PEEVE #9 – HEAT
Let’s approach the HEAT subject now. Do you realize it gets over 100 degress Fahrenheit in Delaware? Well, those of you on the West Coast might think that’s no big deal because you do too. HOWEVER, you don’t get the HUMIDITY out West like we do here. SO, PLEASE when you hear me bitching that it’s HOT AS HELL here, don’t comment about your temps because it’s still no where NEAR what we get with our HUMIDITY!
PEEVE #10 & LAST ON TODAY’S LIST – SUMMER IN GENERAL
I don’t know who made up the four (4) season rule: Fall, Winter, Spring, and Summer because Delaware has become a two (2) season over the past 10 years! It truly sux because my favorite seasons are Fall and Spring. Now, being it’s rare we get that, over than one or two days, I definitely have to choose WINTER over SUMMER!
Why? Let’s look at it logically!
If you are cold, you can put on layer after layer of clothing until you look like an eskimo to keep warm. (No offense)
If you are HOT, there is only so much clothes you can take off to try to stay cool. You can’t remove your skin! So how are you going to stay cool outdoors? Ya can’t and you will die from heat exhaustion.
So there you have it. That’s my Top 10 Summertime Pet Peeves! I’m sure you may or may not agree with me BUT remember, this is my site AND I am talking about Delaware. Summers sux, they blow, and I am anxiously awaiting WINTER!
Nuff said…….. over to you!
