Lifestyle Magazine

Menopause is Just Another Word for Homicidal.

By Midlifemargaritas @mdlifemargarita

Menopause is just another word for Homicidal.

You knew this post was coming right? Menopause. We’ll call this post, Part 1. SO much we need to discuss! So here’s the definition from Merriam-Webster:

Definition of menopause

  1. 1 :  the natural cessation of menstruation that usually occurs between the ages of 45 and 55; also :  the period during which such cessation occurs —called also climacteric — compare perimenopause

  2. 2 :  cessation of menstruation from other than natural causes

That’s it. That’s the definition. What the actual hell?????????? If you think for one hot minute that’s it for what menopause is, you have got to be kidding me. Here is MY definition for what menopause really is:

Menopause is the time in a woman’s life when her body decides to rebel and create chaos and homicidal tendencies.

Sure, the period stops. YAY. But that is just the beginning. Also happening at this time is lack of sleep, depression, mood swings, thoughts of murdering anyone related or not related to you for any reason. And there are night sweats where you think  you’ve peed the bed, hot flashes that make you drip sweat from places you didn’t think possible, chin hairs that can grow up to 2 inches or more overnight, crying at the drop of a hat making you look crazy to everyone. And weight gain that you can’t ever lose again (or maybe this is just me).

This is just the start. There is way more. But that’s for another post. Some of the symptoms remind us of when we were pregnant. And they say you might still get pregnant during menopause so you need to be really careful. WHAT??????? So now we have to worry whether or not we are in menopause or we might be pregnant at 45???????? What hell is this????

I think we need to create an informative pamphlet for our husbands so they can understand what is happening. Something short but to the point so they can prepare and arm themselves and we can all live in harmony instead of homicide. Because when the hubby says, “why is the air conditioner on and it’s 35 degrees outside?”, or “why are you googling pink handguns all day?” He needs to be prepared and sleep with one eye open. 

So while the technical meaning of menopause is the end of a woman’s period, we know there is much more to this. We’re going to be exploring all the myths and legends and “fake news” in upcoming posts so stay tuned!

Menopause is just another word for Homicidal.
Menopause is just another word for Homicidal.
Menopause is just another word for Homicidal.
Menopause is just another word for Homicidal.

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