Health Magazine

Masturbation

By Wplayter
Yeah, I went there.
OK, so OCD presents certain challenges with various areas of life. For me, I have a struggle sometime with masturbation. I can't do it with my Grandma's wedding ring on. It just feels wrong. I take it off.
I will always use a latex glove or plastic bag to prevent contamination.
I feel slightly guilty.
I feel dirty, even though I am a virgin. I feel like I've contaminated certain things I touch. I have gotten over this, but I used to take a shower afterwards to "cleanse" myself. I'd feel like my clothes were contaminated.
I worry about having wrong thoughts, or that I'm committing a sin.
It's frustrating, because even thought this is a normal part of life, and not wrong, there is so much guilt and feeling of wrongdoing sometimes. I know I am not a dirty person, and that I am not bad, but there is still so much guilt and feeling of contamination. I'm getting better, but it can be really frustrating to have to deal with perceived contamination and sin, whether real or imagined.
Masturbation historically has been fraught with secrecy, guilt, and judgement. It is very natural, but especially to OCD sufferers, it brings special challenges as we associate it with contamination, sin, and guilt.
The only thing I can do is offer my experience, and tell you that I still think I am a good person, even thought I struggle with my guilt and thoughts. I don't know if this will help anyone, but please know that if you struggle with fears, doubt and guilt, you are not alone. And you are still a good person.

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