Major League Baseball and My Future Engagement Bracelet from Mark Cuban.By Jhop
I am telling you, this would work. It is just the odds of it happening are slim to none. First of all, he would have to move to New York, because there is no way in hell that I am moving to the conservative country of Texas. I feel like I could convince him of this, once I convince him to also buy the Mets. Second of all, there would be major trust issues. My loyalty to the Knicks and bias towards all things Duke would probably get in the way of our marital business decisions. Like Bud Selig, Mark always thinks he is right. He needs to be in the limelight, while I am content with basking in its peripheral glow. This would create problems. I do not want a loud, obnoxious husband who does not know when to let things go. And, unfortunately, Major League Baseball feels the same way.
It always has. I mean, Cuban had one of the highest bids for the Chicago Cubs and the Texas Rangers; he certainly drove up the price of both franchises. But even if he hadn’t been outbid by Nolan Ryan and company, the way that baseball is set up inhibits him from ever really having a shot at a team. Because if and when he finally buys one, 23 of 30 owners must subsequently approve of his ownership. Which means that 76.67% of Major League Baseball’s Conservative Club of Selig Worshippers has to give him the thumbs up. This is as likely to happen as Pete Rose succeeding Bud when he steps down (in approximately 2026).
Listen, I get it, old traditional baseball-owner types of people who are reading this. He is more jet-setting playboy than you are used to. He promised the NBA that he would mind his own business and remain on the sidelines and, well, he did not exactly keep his word. As an owner, he is extremely outspoken. He challenges his opponents and the ideas he does not agree with – which is why I adore him. But if Selig could approve of Frank McCourt, who was embroiled in debt when he entered the picture back in 2004, he should find a way to get Cuban through the door. Oh, don’t get me wrong, Frank has rivals. Does everyone remember the ever delightful Marge Schott? Charles Comiskey? Charlie Finley? I mean, those morons were allowed to own teams. So why not Cuban?
The sad part is, Major League Baseball needs him. It would benefit from having Mark Cuban as part of its fraternity of rich assholes. He is a tremendous owner who seems to really care about his club; I respect him. It is why I made the marriage comparison in the first place. With realignment on the table and all of the other professional leagues in labor unrest, we could use his creative spark. For the sake of baseball, Cuban would immediately bring excitement back to Los Angeles. He would lend them much-needed financial credibility. He is just bossy and over-involved enough to clean up the mess that Frank McCourt has left behind.
What are we afraid of here? That he will spend too much money and fuck up the scintillating National League West? Please. Once we are married, I would dare him in a provocative manner to try and build the New York Yankees of the West Coast. I would taunt him that the Dodgers used to be rivals, back when they were, you know, in New York and actual rivals. Go ahead and spend $200 million and see if it’s all that easy to win 27 World Championships. But I must give him some credit. Because Mark Cuban is already a champion. And he will soon have the ring (or bracelet) to prove it. I just don’t think he will ever have one with a baseball team’s logo on it, unless he buys one from Lenny Dykstra on Ebay. So everyone loses. But God help him if he tried to pull the bracelet crap with me. As soon as he said, “Engagement rings are done, it’s time to take it to the next level,” I would be gone. But it is really unfortunate that Bud Selig won’t even let Mark Cuban get down on one knee.
These articles might interest you :
Extra Wildcard Is an OK Idea, but The Plan is All Wrong. Let's see - 162 game season; unbalanced schedule; 1 game playoff? Hypothetical: Let's say the NL East i... Read moreThe 06 March 2012 by Wallstlawblog
By this time four years ago, I was preparing to move to Germany. It wasn’t an easy transition, and I wanted no part of it. Amidst the epic Lakers Celtics Finals... Read moreThe 10 June 2014 by Jackmc13
The 2014 World Cup has officially started, and Brazil have won the opening match 3-1 over Croatia. All four goals were scored by Brazilians, as Marcelo started... Read moreThe 12 June 2014 by Niccoloc
As the world turns its attention to Brazil for the FIFA World Cup, it seems football is on the collective minds of the entire planet. Read moreThe 30 June 2014 by Pacificprime
CURRENT, HEALTH, SPORTS
The other day a high school player asked me, “Is it ok to take the top hand off the bat after the swing?” My answer was YES. In fact, virtually every time a... Read moreThe 25 June 2014 by Meachrm
Changing the way a young man throws a baseball is probably the hardest thing to do when it comes to private instruction. However, if there was one thing I... Read moreThe 12 June 2014 by Meachrm
Podcast: Play in new window | Download Summer may not be officially here but it is plenty hot out on the tennis courts here in Houston. And while that means... Read moreThe 03 June 2014 by Kselz
MOST POPULAR FROM SPORTS
- Crystal Palace vs Sunderland ‘Guess the Score’: redemption time? by Colin Randall
- Former Rays Manager Joe Maddon to join the Chicago Cubs by Kipper
- CHILLING THRILLING SOUNDS OF THE HAUNTED HOUSE by Xmarkm
- SMITH LOOKS AHEAD TO NOTTS COUNTY CLASH by Bescotbanter
Hurricane Sandy Academy Awards Russia Christmas Rick Perry Thanksgiving North Korea Mali Barack Obama Egypt Turkey Harry Potter Climate Change True Blood News Corp Mardi Gras John Galliano The Box Office Michelle Rodriguez Apps Lady Gaga Valentine's Day X-Factor Economy Samsung Apple European Union Father's Day China Halloween
MOST RECOMMENDED IN SPORTS
- REPORT: WALSALL U18 6 LINCOLN CITY U18 0 by Bescotbanter
- ROYAL BRITISH LEGION TO ATTEND SPIREITES TIE by Bescotbanter
- THE FA CUP: FIRST ROUND DRAW THIS EVENING by Bescotbanter
- MATCH REPORT: WALSALL 1 CHESTERFIELD 0 by Bescotbanter