Major League Baseball and My Future Engagement Bracelet from Mark Cuban.By Jhop
I am telling you, this would work. It is just the odds of it happening are slim to none. First of all, he would have to move to New York, because there is no way in hell that I am moving to the conservative country of Texas. I feel like I could convince him of this, once I convince him to also buy the Mets. Second of all, there would be major trust issues. My loyalty to the Knicks and bias towards all things Duke would probably get in the way of our marital business decisions. Like Bud Selig, Mark always thinks he is right. He needs to be in the limelight, while I am content with basking in its peripheral glow. This would create problems. I do not want a loud, obnoxious husband who does not know when to let things go. And, unfortunately, Major League Baseball feels the same way.
It always has. I mean, Cuban had one of the highest bids for the Chicago Cubs and the Texas Rangers; he certainly drove up the price of both franchises. But even if he hadn’t been outbid by Nolan Ryan and company, the way that baseball is set up inhibits him from ever really having a shot at a team. Because if and when he finally buys one, 23 of 30 owners must subsequently approve of his ownership. Which means that 76.67% of Major League Baseball’s Conservative Club of Selig Worshippers has to give him the thumbs up. This is as likely to happen as Pete Rose succeeding Bud when he steps down (in approximately 2026).
Listen, I get it, old traditional baseball-owner types of people who are reading this. He is more jet-setting playboy than you are used to. He promised the NBA that he would mind his own business and remain on the sidelines and, well, he did not exactly keep his word. As an owner, he is extremely outspoken. He challenges his opponents and the ideas he does not agree with – which is why I adore him. But if Selig could approve of Frank McCourt, who was embroiled in debt when he entered the picture back in 2004, he should find a way to get Cuban through the door. Oh, don’t get me wrong, Frank has rivals. Does everyone remember the ever delightful Marge Schott? Charles Comiskey? Charlie Finley? I mean, those morons were allowed to own teams. So why not Cuban?
The sad part is, Major League Baseball needs him. It would benefit from having Mark Cuban as part of its fraternity of rich assholes. He is a tremendous owner who seems to really care about his club; I respect him. It is why I made the marriage comparison in the first place. With realignment on the table and all of the other professional leagues in labor unrest, we could use his creative spark. For the sake of baseball, Cuban would immediately bring excitement back to Los Angeles. He would lend them much-needed financial credibility. He is just bossy and over-involved enough to clean up the mess that Frank McCourt has left behind.
What are we afraid of here? That he will spend too much money and fuck up the scintillating National League West? Please. Once we are married, I would dare him in a provocative manner to try and build the New York Yankees of the West Coast. I would taunt him that the Dodgers used to be rivals, back when they were, you know, in New York and actual rivals. Go ahead and spend $200 million and see if it’s all that easy to win 27 World Championships. But I must give him some credit. Because Mark Cuban is already a champion. And he will soon have the ring (or bracelet) to prove it. I just don’t think he will ever have one with a baseball team’s logo on it, unless he buys one from Lenny Dykstra on Ebay. So everyone loses. But God help him if he tried to pull the bracelet crap with me. As soon as he said, “Engagement rings are done, it’s time to take it to the next level,” I would be gone. But it is really unfortunate that Bud Selig won’t even let Mark Cuban get down on one knee.
These articles might interest you :
Extra Wildcard Is an OK Idea, but The Plan is All Wrong. Let's see - 162 game season; unbalanced schedule; 1 game playoff? Hypothetical: Let's say the NL East i... Read moreThe 06 March 2012 by Wallstlawblog
Podcast: Play in new window | Download It's time for a tennis quick tip on the serve! While the serve may be the most important stroke in tennis, I believe the... Read moreThe 19 March 2015 by Kselz
After 20 straight years of losing seasons, the Pirates have had two straight winning seasons resulting in the opportunity to host the last two NL wildcard games. Read moreThe 14 February 2015 by Kipper
The Western Canada road swing continues tonight in Calgary. Scouting the Flames (from the Penguins' website) - http://video.penguins.nhl.com/videoc... Read moreThe 06 February 2015 by Kipper
Rafael Nadal was beaten once again in 2015 as he suffered a shock semi final loss to Italian Fabio Fognini in the Rio. Copa Claro Open. Read moreThe 23 February 2015 by Lovetennisblog
As avid rock climbers, we have people whom we look up to and emulate—world-renowned climbers like Alex Honnold, Chris Sharma, Adam Ondra, Sasha DiGuilian, and... Read moreThe 22 February 2015 by Adrenaline Romance
According to renowned food critic and culinary adventurer Andrew Zimmern, Filipino food is the next big thing in global cuisine. Read moreThe 05 March 2015 by Adrenaline Romance
MOST POPULAR FROM SPORTS
- Poliquit, Tabal Conquer ASICS LA Marathon by Barefootdaves
- HIGHLIGHTS: CHESTERFIELD 1 WALSALL 0 by Bescotbanter
- The story behind Rule 3.03 by Precious Sanders
- BRADSHAW SET FOR NOTTS COUNTY FITNESS RACE by Bescotbanter
Barack Obama Mardi Gras X-Factor DSK Climate Change Lance Armstrong John Galliano Academy Awards Nuclear Energy Rick Perry Amanda Knox Michelle Rodriguez True Blood China Halloween Samsung North Korea Mitt Romney European Union Harry Potter Christmas Economy Turkey The Box Office Apps Apple Lady Gaga Egypt Russia Valentine's Day
MOST RECOMMENDED IN SPORTS
- SADDLERS SET FOR JPT CASH WINDFALL by Bescotbanter
- Salomon X-Trail Pilipinas 2015 Preview by Runningatom
- O'DONNELL - NO TIME TO DWELL ON JPT DISAPPOINTMENT by Bescotbanter
- IN BRIEF: SMITH HINTS AT CAIN SUMMER SWOOP by Bescotbanter
ON THE SPORTS FORUM
- NEBRASKA FOOTBALL: The Top Five Surprising ... Reviewed by Nicole Hammons