When they got married, Anastasiia’s Dad promised her Mom that he would buy her earrings if she blessed him with a daughter. She ended up receiving two sets of earrings after blessing him with two daughters.
But Anastasiia’s mom never wore the earrings, let alone pierced her ears. She kept those earrings for 25 years she decided to surprise her husband. She went and got her ears pierced and wore the beautiful earrings, waiting for her husband to return.
But he never did. That was the day he passed away. He passed away without getting to see her wife adorning the earrings he had bought her 25 years ago for the blessings she bestowed on him.
That was not the only thing he didn’t get to see. He didn’t get to see her daughter who was away in Venezuela since October of 2011. Anastasiia was only remained with one month before heading back to reunite with her family.
It was a Wednesday that changed everything. I remember that my alarm went off at 7 o’clock and I was still in bed getting used to the light. Anastasiia who I was living with came in my room and told me her dad has passed away.
She had just spoken to him on Monday of the same week and two days later he was no more. While walking on the street his artery burst and thus calling for an immediate death. According to the doctor who examined him this was bound to happen sooner or later. His death was so sudden.
I was shocked and in lost with words. I followed Anastasiia to her room and she showed me the email in Russian which was from her aunt. While muffling tears, she told he was going to be buried the same day owing to the heat of the summer, back in Ukraine.
I sat besides her not knowing what to say. She burst out crying. I just sat there and held her. It was one of the most horrific moments and the only time I had seen her cry like that. She was very vulnerable and she didn’t know what to do. No one knew what to do. The only thing was to be with her.
I had to leave for work after an hour. I didn’t want to but I had to go and tell what happened. No one knew what to do and everyone was in a state of shock, asking whether she would go back or not.
In the case of Anastasiia time was not on her side. They would bury her dad day the same day. It was devastating not being able to say goodbye.
When I returned from work, she told me that she had decided to go back though her family had advised her not to since there was nothing she could do even if she decided to go back. But her heart told her she needed to go back.
It was also a challenging time since in less than a month and a half she would’ve finished her internship and go back to her country.
On the same day she needed to do three things: to see the priest; to buy a pañuelo (bandana) as dictated according to her customs and to visit the travel agency to see if she could change her flight date.
The first was soothing. But when she came back she told me she had trouble referring to her dad in past tense as done when one passes away. She felt him around her and she didn’t want to put him as something of the past.
The third didn’t go so well. Lufthansa told her that she couldn’t change her ticket which was slated for early September and thus she needed to buy a new one if she wanted to leave then. A new ticket would have cost he like US$1,200.
She was devastated. She couldn’t get that sum of money. It is also important to note that she had already bought a ticket to Peru, for Machu Pichu in June. She wanted to do a bit of traveling after she would’ve finished her internship in the 24th of August.
She tried to ask if she could cancel that flight but she was told it was not possible. She would’ve to lose this ticket too. But as a consolation, she was told that the ticket was valid for a year in case she would like to use it.
Everything was going awry. Anastasiia had to take the high road: raise the money to buy a new ticket by asking contribution from her friends. Her family didn’t know that she was going back apart from one friend and an aunt.
She posted on Facebook and sent messages to some friends. People were kind enough to help her, from her students, colleagues, friends up to her employer. At the end of four days she was able to raise US$1,000.
One day before she left, she decided to go back to work for the last day and say goodbye to her students and friends. It was indeed very emotional, but she was strong. But she couldn’t contain herself during the mass later that evening. She cried the whole time and it was very moving.
The next day, she would leave with a friend who promised to take her to Caracas to catch her flight. She was able to reunite with her family and she is learning to come to terms with the loss of her father as the days roll on.
You need friends when you are abroad. You need people that you can party with but also people that will be there for you during the low moments. If it weren’t for some of our very good friends, I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
From organizing the mass to donating money for her flight, everyone was very helpful. The whole experience made me realize that we don’t have much time. We need to what we have to now. Loss is our best friend; we need to get acquainted with it. We will grow from it.
We have wonderful friends who have been very kind to her during this process. It is important for people who are abroad to make the right connections. She needed to request a mass for her dad and through the help of some Venezuelan friends she managed to do so.
Losing a loved one when abroad is one of the most difficult moments.
