I
made this salvation bead necklace (color meanings below) to remind myself to just live everyday as best as
I know how and remember I always have God by my side. I
try to remember everyone is going through something so if they are
rude, inconsiderate, angry, etc, I do try to just ignore it and move
on. I may go home and tell hubby “Hey this jerk...”, do my
little rant, and then I move on. We all have bad days, right? I
completely understand those. I have had my fair share lately. What
I don't like is when it's consistent and if you don't like me just
because, I can't really help that. I'm me. I do always strive to be
a good person and polite to others, so why do I feel it's a wasted
effort to be polite to someone who just acts like I'm dirt under
their shoe? I could go on and on but I'm choosing not to. I really
do want to keep this blog about my son and the journey to find out
what he has and how we are always going to give him the best life he
can possibly have.
As
I mentioned in my last entry, there was more calcium in his urine
than normal so the diagnosis of Lowe is creeping closer and closer.
It is hard to want it NOT to be true. I've been told to give Noah
Pediasure and as much solid food as he'll take. I have. I even went
the extra step myself and got the Pediasure with extra fiber. Well,
that did him wonders....but almost too much. So, I also bought the
regular Pediasure to see if it would make it more “normal” and
the only thing it did is make him constipated....again. Seriously? What bothers
me is the doctors didn't tell me to get the Pediasure with extra
fiber. That was all me. So, they must have thought the regular
would be just fine too. Could it really be that I switched the two?
It's even the same product! The only difference was flavor and no
extra fiber. So, I think I'll be calling the doctor again on Monday
to find out why that could be or his nutritionist from ECI. Just so
darn frustrating!!!!!!! I hate taking a step forward just to go back
again.
I
lost it last night. I just broke down and cried for at least 20
minutes. Sometimes I think it's needed to let yourself release
pent-up frustrations and worries and if it's in the form of crying
until you can't anymore, then, cry on! It actually started when Noah
was starting to cry because he was tired and ready for bed. I picked
him up and he stopped crying and just settled his head into my
shoulder while I carried him up the stairs. That's what started it
and I couldn't stop. I sat in his rocking chair watching him drift
off to sleep until I could stop crying. All I want, for always, is
for my son to be happy. Right now, he's the happiest boy I've ever
met and that is a great blessing. I pray he's always this happy and
that he lives for a very long time and gives this syndrome (or
whatever it may be) a real kick in its tushy!
I
finally got some decent sleep last night without either kiddo waking
me for one reason or another. I, at least, feel human today. Too
bad it's calling for heavy thunderstorms. Thinking about that alone,
makes me want to snuggle back in bed and wait for the thunder to
start. So calming. I hope everyone has a great day ahead of them.
I'm going to try and do the same. Maybe we'll go down the street and
get a movie from the Redbox. I got my free coupon code texted to me
the other day and I need to use it. Come home and snuggle on the
couch with some popcorn and let Hollywood entertain us for a couple
of hours. It could very well be just a lazy day while this heavy
rain passes through. Sounds good to me.
The
meaning of the Salvation beads: Red-Jesus
shed his BLOOD on the cross to pay for our sins (Romans 5:8) White-CLEAN-when
we receive Jesus our sin is washed away (Acts 3) Blue-HOLY
SPIRIT-He leads and guides us into truth (Romans 10:9-11) Black–SIN-all
have sinned (John 3) Green-GROWTH-we
must grow in Christ Gold-HEAVEN-when
we die, we will go to Heaven where there are streets of gold
(Revelation 21:1-3)
Stay
in the moment,
Jenna