Letting a friendship fade at any point in time is hard on your heart. In any season, the two of you can drift apart, with no fault to either of you. It just happens as we grow and we change.
There are friends that will want to stick around during your lowest of lows, because that is how they relate in their own life. Struggling. Depressed. Frustrated. They secretly love that you are struggling, as are they. They can relate to you. These women cannot relate to anything outside their own boxes they’ve made. They do not want to grow. They are scared to.
Then there are friends that only come around when you seem to have your life fully together. A great marriage, a nice house. No more pity parties or hard times. They suddenly walk back into your life, as if to say-
” Now you have all your crap together, lets get together for coffee, because this time I won’t have to listen to your problems.”
You need to notice the women, you need to notice who stick around no matter the season of your life. Those women are truly your friends. They are there in whatever season you are in, because they love you for YOU. Not what you can offer to them.
There’s no beating around the bush here, some women hate the success of other women. They are not yet mature enough to handle someone that they are close to rising above themselves in any area.
Spiritually, physically, and emotionally.
They want you to remain the way that you are, for if you do they will not have to change either.
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Friendship is such a lovely fellowship between women in our time, and social media can either cultivate that, or bring on massive heartache.
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It’s easy to see a picture of women on social media, and immediately compare yourself to them and their friends. Especially when you used to be included in their group. It;s our nature as women to want to be excepted in every group of friends. To desire to be liked, and loved.
When it gets to that point where you feel you are being directly NOT invited to events with former friends, that’s okay! There I said it! It’s OKAY that you aren’t meshing with old friends anymore. It’s not the season you are in to do so.
But what you cannot do is stomp your foot and demand that you be invited or involved. Everyone lives in this wonderful free will that God has given us.
So even in your grief of friendships lost, I ask you to look around you.
Pull out your phone and see who was the last friend to text you. When was the last time you felt loved by a friend? Who is encouraging you in this season? Who is for you right now?
Focus on those people, and focus on your growth as a woman.
Friendship is much like different trains arriving at the same station for a time. You travel together, have the same passengers and know each others routes. You travel at the same speed. Know the others ways of stopping and starting.
But what happens when you start trying out a new route for a change?
I want you to notice the people that aren’t fearful of changes in you. If they are changes made my God himself, no one should be afraid of them. Not even your friends.
I want you to watch out for the people that slowly start putting you down. Accusing you of being too social, or flighty. People who question your destiny, they never loved you in the first place . It was a surface friendship, and that’s OK.
Surface friendships are nice for a few things:
You can meet for coffee and talk about the coffee you are drinking, and how lovely the weather is.
You can comment on their posts on social media, and flatter them.
But when it comes to people who really love you, you will know really quick who is in for the long haul, and who wants out.
Just succeed. Then you’ll see who sticks around.
Or just fall, and see who wants to catch you.
Just lose a baby, then see who wraps their arms around you. You’d be surprised who bows out then.
Above all, our time on earth is valuable and it’s short. We are not designed to chase friendships, so just rest in the fact that you are worthy of love.
