Let Down Again.....

SoIt's three days later after the whole date debacleAnd I'm happy to report that I am well and truly on the mend I have built a nice big bridgeAnd am slowly but surely getting over itSaturday I was quite distraughtBut I can't tell you how glad I am that I stuck to my guns and didn't go along with his 'horny teenager' anticsOh the relief is just immense I just have to keep telling myself This was only practice for the real thingWhich I'm sure will happenAll in good time
Through this whole thingYou my little blogger family have been there every step of the wayAs well as my Mum and my sisterI couldn't have got through this without you allAnd I am so grateful for that My 'best friend' has been no where to be seenEven though she knew I was going on a date
She texted me SaturdayWanting to know why she hadn't heard from meI told her about the date She seemed more interested in her own stuffIt was then I got the call from The PlumberSo I texted my friend what he had saidI was starting to get really upsetSo I decided to ring said friendNo answerA few minutes later I got a text from her saying that she was hoovering and couldn't answerWhat the......?She texted me yesterdayDidn't mention the date I texted her that I wasn't feeling well'What's that all about?' She texted backI don't know guys Am I being overly sensitive?I don't think so I spoke to my Mum about itShe said that if I want to be friends with this girl I have to accept that she is the way she isI'm just not entirely sure I want a friend like thisI'm starting to think that I might be a push overA door mat A people pleaserMaybe I need to toughen upStand up for myself Because it seems to be a pattern now that people are walking all over meAnd I don't like it To be honestI am more hurt by my friendThe Plumber was just a random guyChancing his armMy friend is a different story She should know betterShe should know a lot betterI remember reading somewhere once That people treat you the way you let themAnd I think I've been letting people treat me like shitThis has to stopAnd I must stop itInstead of worrying about people who are not worth worrying about I'm going to throw myself head first in to my recoveryI'm going to bang in the meetingsFocus on myself And getting strongerStick with the winners as they sayIt's toughBut I guess we have to be picky about who we choose to have in our lives Who we spend time withWho we tell our secrets toWho we listen toWho we confide in Because people are human They are not infallible We make mistakesWe hurt others And we get hurtBut I think there comes a point where you have to draw a line and start looking after ourselvesProtect ourselves from these kind of peopleI guess it's down to me to decide who I allow in to my lifeBut I don't live in a big city Where I can avoid people if I want toAnd make new friends easilyI live in a small town Where I am bound to run in to these people at some pointBut hey I will cross that bridge when I come to it
I also forgot to tell youWhen I was in BelfastMy friend texted me and asked me why I wasn't texting her back I told her whyShe turned the whole thing back on meAnd said I had stood her up many timesAnd that she was always there for meWe were texting back and forth I could tell she was pissed But I actually ended up apologising to herHow f**ked up is that?
I'm not looking for a whole lot of friendsI don't care how many Facebook friends I haveI just want a couple of people who I can trust and rely onIn actual fact I do have thatI have my friend from treatment who is a true friendAnd my other friend Paul Who I've known since I moved hereInterestingly They are both a lot older than meI think I tend to get on better with older people So at least I know that 
For now I will tend to my wounds And let myself healAs they sayOnce bitten Twice shyAnd I've been bitten more than one person should