For the last two or three episodes of Teen Mom 2, I’ve been battling an urge to write about a specific conflict on the show that’s been driving me crazy, and today I’m letting it go (but not Frozen style). Come out, come out wherever you are Teen Mom 2 followers—there’s no judgment here.
If you don’t watch Teen Mom 2 because you couldn’t possibly subject yourself such drivel on a channel that used to play music videos, please accept my congratulations for your superior TV taste, my genuine sympathy that you love music videos so much that you’re actually still upset MTV decided to diversify their programming so they could continue to be profitable, and my apology, because this blog doesn’t offer any watering troughs to people who ride in on their high horse.
For those who are at all familiar with Teen Mom 2 and/or its cast, you’re probably thinking any rant about this show must be directed at Jenelle, who’s arguably the most troubled one in this group of teen moms, but you’d be wrong. Jenelle’s positive drug tests and grandiose delusions don’t surprise me anymore—it’s Leah who’s drawling all over my last nerve.
Just to give you a little background on Leah: she’s got three adorable little girls, one of whom has an incurable form of muscular dystrophy. Two of her daughters are twins from her first marriage to now ex-husband Corey. Her new and current husband, Jeremy, fathered her youngest daughter, who’s getting close to being able to walk as of the most recent episode.
Most viewers probably weren’t aware of this prior to the latest episodes of the series, but Jeremy is a baller. One report that researched the incomes of the Teen Mom 2 stars suggests he earns in the region of $200,000 as a pipeline engineer.
Jeremy’s job requires him to travel a lot, which often leaves Leah alone to handle all three of her daughters on her own. Leah isn’t shy about vocalizing how she feels overwhelmed and lonely, and she routinely remarks that she feels like she’s a single mom doing everything on her own.
As the daughter of a woman who truly was a single parent, the comparison Leah makes between her cushy situation (living in a house, driving a new car every episode, getting highlights she should regret) and true single motherhood is absolutely preposterous to me. Without a doubt, Leah’s the primary caregiver for her children, but until a woman is tasked with financially providing for her children as well as making sure they don’t eat crayons, she doesn’t get to pull the, “I’m practically a single mom!” card. That income you’re relying on to buy diapers and child-safe cabinet locks? It’s kind of a big deal. There is no “practically” in single motherhood.
I have nothing bad to say about women who are stay at home moms— I think being a SAHM is equal parts a gift and a sacrifice—but in Leah’s case, when you marry a man knowing his job requires him to travel and you’re relying on his income to survive, I think you need to keep everything in perspective. It could easily be my upbringing coloring my bias, but staying home with the kids, WHILE WONDERFUL, doesn’t pay the bills. By the same token, just because one spouse is the primary financial provider for a family, that totally doesn’t mean he or she gets to do whatever he or she wants and justify it with the standard, “Well, I put a roof over your head and put food in your mouth!” That’s archaic. There has to be a balance.
There are countless ways two partners can contribute in a relationship, but I’m of the opinion if one person disproportionately adds more to the equation financially, he or she is entitled to having a slight upper hand when it comes to making decisions and playing the victim, because the burden he or she is carrying is quantifiable. If the electric bill doesn’t get paid, your lights will get cut off. If you can’t make your mortgage payments, you could lose your home. Regardless of the reasons why someone is/is not working, income disparity is something that needs to be taken into consideration when important decisions are being made. That might seem unfair or adversarial to you, but that’s just how my relationship cookie crumbles. Yours is free to have more crumbs.
Back to Leah and Jeremy.
An episode or two ago, Jeremy accepted a five-week job in New Mexico, which is waaaaaaaay far away from where Leah and Jeremy reside in West Virginia. Leah was upset that Jeremy took a job that would have him on the other side of the country for a month, and at first, I understood her aggravation. Leah also mentioned that there was another job Jeremy could have taken closer to home (information she gleaned from looking through his phone…), and voiced her disapproval that he wouldn’t choose to be closer to his baby. I was seeing Leah’s side of things right until Jeremy revealed that in five weeks’ time he’s going to earn nearly $40,000.
$40,000 IN FIVE WEEKS. FIVE. WEEKS. $40,000! That’s more than some people earn in an entire year! Obligatory comment about how money isn’t everything, BUT COME ON. I would love to make that in five weeks! Do you know what I’d have to do to earn that in five weeks? Yeah, “pipeline engineer” is right.
After Leah argues with Jeremy for the better part of two episodes about New Mexico, getting marriage counseling, and getting slapped with bacon, Jeremy leaves for his job. In his absence, Leah’s friends, family, and ex-husband (not cool, Leah) are all, “there, there” when she complains that Jeremy doesn’t want to call her after work every day and Facetime for an hour. …Seriously? To be completely honest, there are days I don’t want to even want to be around other human beings after work, let alone hold my iPhone out in front of my face and video chat with them. And I’m not even doing any complicated, physically exhausting engineering shit.
I think this whole situation really sheds light on Leah’s divorce from her first husband Corey. If you’re playing at home, let me just fill you in on what prompted the dissolution of Leah’s first marriage to Corey: she cheated on Corey with her ex because she felt Corey wasn’t giving her enough/any attention, and she felt lonely.
Not to be dismissive of Leah’s feelings in all of this or to absolve Corey or Jeremy of any wrongdoing, but at what point, as an individual, do you start to realize that maybe the problem is with you and that perhaps you’re not clearly communicating your needs to your partner(s)? If Jeremy traveling for work was a dealbreaker, Leah should have clearly articulated that before exchanging vows. More importantly, if Leah assumed that having a child with Jeremy would automatically shift his priorities relative to his work/family balance, she was wrong to project her misguided expectations onto him, and Jeremy shouldn’t have been a willing participant in the babymaking if he had no intention of being more involved at home.
From where I sit in my ass dent on the couch, Leah is being immature and unreasonable. She expects intimacy and frequent communication, but she also wants a new house that’s wheelchair accessible for her daughter (for whom I’m sure she also wants generous health benefits). With Jeremy’s career, physical proximity isn’t always possible, and I don’t think that should automatically puts their marriage in jeopardy. If anything, I think Leah and Jeremy need to come to an understanding about how their relationship dynamic is going to be given their current circumstances. Jeremy works hard to support Leah, and I have a lot of respect for a man who embraces and provides for two kids that aren’t biologically his.
I’ll leave you with a quote from Leah (taken from a discussion about Jeremy’s job):
I would give up anything, because when I said “I do” to you that means I love you, and I just want you when you’re gone.
What do you think about income disparity in relationships? Do you think Leah’s being unreasonable, or is Jeremy being unfair? Maybe both? If you’ve been watching Teen Mom 2, has Leah been driving you up a wall, too?
