To PACS or not to PACS? That is a question that I am sure has come up at one point or another in every Franco-American relationship. Why not just get married? This is what Séb and I have been asked ever since we announced this, well to be clear, when we announced it in America. It wasn't until a little get-together that we were invited to this weekend where almost every couple mirrored us; American gal, European man. We felt right at home as our decision to PACS wasn't once questioned, and in fact was encouraged.
Last week, on the radio show when I slipped and shared our plans to this French version of a civil union, it came as a bit of a surprise to some of you, but in actuality this is something that has actually been in the works for months. I suppose it's now time to go global (“Global”. I know, how dramatic.) with it, as well as explain our reason for keeping it to ourselves these past few months.
Sébastien PACSposed to me when we were at Cafe Gitane during Easter making it a true Joyeuses Pacques, but because we were in New York during an unexpected family tragedy, it would be in poor taste to announce our good news. I was also having trouble explaining why weren't just getting married, because in New York, where it's obnoxiously all about the wedding and the ring, I was growing frustrated trying to explain it to my more traditional friends who weren't able to understand. And finally, my blogaversary came up and I didn't want to give the impression that my life is better based on the fact that I found a man, as the point was to keep the focus on my personal growth.
During this life make-over, Séb was nothing but patient. He allowed me time to myself, he never forced the meaning of the relationship in the beginning, never pressured me to be more present as I was sorting through a haunting past, and on top of being a boyfriend, was a true friend to me. As much as I wanted to stay single this year, how could I have refused a gem like this? As the old cliche goes, the best things always happen when you least expect it.
So the question that my family will be asking. Why aren't we just getting married? It's simple. We don't want to. PACS fits our lifestyle at the moment, and who knows what we'll do in the future. One day at a time...
Now that most of the big questions have been answered, and it's officially out in the open, we are able to enjoy our decision. We are both really excited about it! We are shooting for an October date with a simple dinner to follow. Now for the big question....what to wear!
Have any of you had a civil union or have PACsed? Please share with me your experience!
What was happening a year ago today? This!
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