It All Starts with a Little Conversation

Wednesday, April 15, 2015 @ 9:50 AM
Good morning.  It’s not quite 10 am yet and we’re done with the morning stuff, plus into that more than we would like … Just back to vaguely searching around FB for something important, but we didn’t see it.
We did have oatmeal for breakfast, but now that Rich is in the shower, we’re having ice cream too.  Yup, yup you know it’s going to be one of those days.  We did talk to Linda … she’s planning to sew and be out today – I have to give her a lot of credit for that.  As to us, we had nothing we wanted to put on the agenda … she suggested, sewing, writing or cleaning and all we could do is confirm those were the normal suspects.  So here we are anyway … I guess writing has won out over other things, though usually soon behind that comes cleaning.  Won’t do any machines though with Rich in the shower.  YAY – Excuse #1.
Hmm, ice cream is gone – we grabbed a pop and let Dakota out in the sunroom.  Pretty sure that Rich is going to come by and say that it’s too cold.  But, we seem to be running that mood where eh, everything is fine – just let it alone.  Thinking this morning that we’re like in our invisible mode.  I’m assuming Rich got up at 5 am, we were up at 3 am, but went to bed soon after.  Then it wasn’t until about 8 am that we Really got up, took care of the dog and got our medicine – maybe a little before that … Linda came sometime shortly after 8 am, and then we were off til 9 am, and then as stated monkeying around and now it’s 10 am.  Doesn’t seem we’re getting anywhere too fast.
Linda said she and one of the twins might not be going to the Saturday sew … We thought then should we really go.  I don’t know about CS – she’s been trying to get there, though she doesn’t usually commit until the end.  That means if we’re lucky there are three of us and then the room is like $25 each, plus another $100 for overnight, and about $25-30 for meals AND there’s another $25 to fill the gas tanks.  So, all in all … $175 … it’s a lot out for not many being there.  I do think that these three left would be enough of a “Value” to going, just in the present mood we’re not thinking of doing or liking anything.  Just not sure.  I don’t think we’ve talked to Rich about it yet.  Linda said she’d talk to the girls on Saturday, but …
Hmm, we just wrote a short note … couldn’t get really up about it, but we don’t see the point of waiting 3 more days – though it’s likely it will take that long to get news.  I don’t know maybe Linda is meeting one of the twins in person?  Kinda leaves us hanging though.  Who knows – I need my sunnier mood to come back.
I think we are feeling a bit of leftover from last week with the PA group.  We’ve not been able to think much past it.  We did talk to Jim a little bit, but more that he was trying to figure out what happened.  We shared some stuff for him to read.  I don’t know what else is going on – he didn’t share, nor did I ask what was happening in the group without me.  At this point, it has to be none-of-my business.
Hmm, Linda is now stating she will be there, but might leave at 7-8 pm.  That would be very helpful.  Maybe some of the others would respond too.
Yesterday was a day with Dr. Marvin and one of the first things and then dragged into the session by us was what had happened on Friday.  I think we explained it before that we’d taken extra medicine because we wanted to sleep – that always has deeper ramifications for us that come up in Dr. M and our talking level.  That part of the session was very hard and slowed us down quite a bit.  Then we were doing a lot of talking about what had happened in the group and from his perspective I could see him the last 15 minutes or so trying to make things a little more optimistic as to looking for another shift in attention to a new project.
We weren’t into it yet though and didn’t really want to hear it at all.  It seemed the best time was taking distraction time with Dakota – we showed Dr. Marvin that he could now rollover.  It somehow feels that the care we can give him in petting, water, or treats is somehow fixing us too.  Should probably share that with Dr. Marvin
Also, we had some problems because of the drive and our arms – around the elbow level.  Having them up in the driving position hurt a lot – and it was tiring us out … we spent quite a while thinking or asking ourselves – where could we pull over that wouldn’t drive the dog crazy for just us getting some sleep. We made it home – but, just because we had to quick stop and that jarred our attention.  We almost were in an accident too – didn’t tell Rich or Dr. M, but on Wood street where the parking garage is we were going straight and someone from one of the side streets didn’t realize I had no stop sign and came into the intersection.  We both stopped, I yelled at him – I don’t have a stop sign – they looked and then they realized it was their fault, but we’d both stopped in time, so I just went on.  It was pretty screechy brakes scary. 
Hmm, Rich forgot his keys so just came in so we told him.  He just said you gotta be careful, and agreed he was dumb.  I guess we can move on then?
So now it’s 10:40 am, Rich is gone until about 5 pm.  We didn’t have a chance to talk today at all because he’s so crazy busy with work stuff.  He’s already put in a 5-6 hour day and we’re not even started.  BLAH.  We should probably really do something about getting the machines going.  That be a start, right?  Maybe first the washing machine. 
There 6 minutes and we cleaned up the bedroom floor, started the washing machine and started the dishwasher.  Rich put our fancy glasses on the bottom – eh we’ll see if they break or wash or neither.  Too raggedy to deal with it.  He’s already using the pan wash because the machine wasn’t cleaning enough – I don’t think it’s working proper, but he’s the one that’s got to pay the bill. 
Still feel pretty low for getting so much done in one quick trip.  This might take a little while, but hoping that we can write/work our way out of it.  Dr. Marvin was asking us what we had liked about what we were doing before.  I told him that we’d liked the conversation part – it was long and tedious, but we liked figuring out what we thought people were trying to say and then placing it in the write order as if the conversation were happening.  I think that kind of thing has to happen more often, but then when we looked over the conversation that was happening, it wasn’t enough information to make it coherent and it seemed that people get really distracted writing on the message board – a lot of times people stop to tell their stories which isn’t a bad thing, but take the question at hand off task, and we are to blame for that kind of thing happening too.
We talked to him after he suggested that we had what it took to start our own conversation like the message board, but we’d told him we’d processed that already a bit on our own.  Basically the message board is free, but we’d have to host it on our own web page and that would cost money – the site we followed down was like $170 a year, plus we’d have to do all the figuring out and there is no motive for people to come.  Plurality Resource Forum is already up and encounters a lot of multiples, but the difference would be that in mine people could talk in public.  From what I gathered at PRF – most multiples couldn’t do that.  So it kind of leaves a very blank space between a real conversation and being public.  It’s not very much of a conversation if we can’t say the stuff out loud.  I really don’t know how to get past that point. 
We’ve also taken a hit to our confidence.  The whole thing with PA had sounded real as if it were going to happen and there was some structure to it, but the structure wasn’t sound.  And, the leadership wasn’t working together.  I think what Dr. Marvin and Rich are trying to say is that we should work on our own project so that we can maintain some control of it, but it still have to be a lot as to people getting along, but in all reality – I don’t see people being there.  Again very little motivation to talk amongst so few people that would dare to speak out loud – even if they masked their names. 
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