Current Magazine

Is Your Spouse Losing Weight? Science Says That Means They May Not Like You.

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

Canoe reports that a study of newlyweds indicates that the more satisfied you are with your marriage, the more likely you are to gain weight. Further, the report says divorce is accepted to be associated with weight loss.

3 Questions (Including Follow-Up Questions) That Arise From This Study

1. If happily married couples go to the moon, where as we wrote yesterday, the vast majority of Americans believe other Americans have landed, does this mean they are less likely to bounce around and float away from their loved ones? If so, why aren’t there more honeymoons and anniversaries celebrated on the moon and less at Niagara Falls?

2. What kind of legislation would New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg enact to prevent this phenomena? Perhaps a law that if you “let yourself go” after landing a spouse, you must work in a mascot uniform in Times Square, which due to intense heat will make you sweat off excess pounds?

3. New Jersey governor Chris Christie, who describes himself as “more than a little” overweight must be really happily married! But apparently not happy enough to spread the love by allowing gay people to get married in his state. Does his position make sense given 64% of New Jersey residents support gay marriage? Does his position make sense if allowing gay marriage may result in more happy marriages leading to more overweight people in New Jersey, making him look relatively more health-conscious compared to the rest of the state?


Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog