Current Magazine

Is Your Razor Blade Dull? Time to Find a Sharp Object to Open the Package of New Blades!

By Nottheworstnews

We’d like to congratulate Gillette on the brand’s new Fusion Proglide blades which according to the packaging “effortlessly glide…”

Although we’d be more likely to congratulate the brand if the blades came in a package that effortlessly glided open first thing in the morning, instead of requiring scissors, which may not be so common in a typical hotel room.

While we’re commenting on the packaging, we draw your attention to the promise of “Incredible comfort – even if you shave every day.” Yep, this isn’t one of those slipshod blades that is only comfortable for men who shave every few days, months, or even years, because the men out there all know how comfortable that would be.

Is your razor blade dull? Time to find a sharp object to open the package of new blades!

We bet if you had a sharp razor blade you could open this package! Actually, we withdraw that bet, after trying to open it with all five blades and the trimmer blade, with no success!

3 Less Convenient Ways That You Could Open A Package Of Sharp Objects

1. After cutting open the package, it could have a special door with an alarm inside, to notify everyone in your home that you just tried to touch a package of razor blades, just like at Wal-Mart! Except unlike Wal-mart, this alarm would wake up your family, neighbors, and their barking dogs.

2. A package that opens easily, but only if you don’t shave every day! And by “easy”, we mean opening the package requires wooden screws and instructions from IKEA. If you shave as often as you assemble furniture, i.e. once every few years, this may be easy to open, otherwise, not so much.

3. You could be required to win a pair of scissors as part of a challenge on Survivor PhilippinesIf you don’t win the scissors, you’ll be stuck with an unopened package of razors and a grizzly beard the rest of the season, feeling like Burgess Meredith in the Twilight Zone episode “Time Enough At Last,” just with more facial hair.

You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • Newt Gingrich Is Right (This Time)

    (This caricature of Newt Gingrich is by DonkeyHotey.) I have not been kind to Newt Gingrich on this blog, and I'm sure I'll probably have many negative things t... Read more

    The 09 December 2013 by   Jobsanger
  • What is Time?

    Time is a dimension in which events can be ordered from the past through the present into the future and also the measure of durations of events and the... Read more

    The 05 December 2013 by   Weszmadz
  • Fall is Here. Time for Another Caption Contest!

    This is the 58th world-famous FOTM Caption Contest!Here’s the pic:You know the drill: The winner of the Caption Contest will get a gorgeous Award Certificate... Read more

    The 15 October 2013 by   Eowyn
  • Big Time Baseball News, Jim Leyland Is Stepping Down As Detroit Tigers Manager

    Via NBCSports (and Ken Rosenthal): This is big. Ken Rosenthal of Fox reports that Tigers manager Jim Leyland is stepping down. Rosenthal says that he told the... Read more

    The 21 October 2013 by   Ceboscuit
  • Proof Time Travel Is Possible

    Some theories, most notably special and general relativity, suggest that suitable geometries of spacetime, or specific types of motion in space, might allow tim... Read more

    The 31 October 2013 by   Gerard
  • Who Is Your Favourite Literary Character of All Time?

    The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804-1864)  My favourite literary character of all time is Hester Prynne, an intelligent and capable woman from... Read more

    The 19 October 2013 by   Sillymummy
  • This Time of Year is Perfect. The Leaves Are Changing, Th...

    This time of year is perfect. The leaves are changing, the weather is beautiful, and the Bear Creek Music and Art Festival is almost here. This year’s lineup... Read more

    The 04 November 2013 by   Dltmontana

Add a comment