Parenting fail: Anonymous confession of a mum:
I for one will never forgive myself for the way I let my little girl down. My daughter is 20 months and my husband up and left me when I was 6 months pregnant, fast forward 2 years just before Christmas and I meet a guy.
I told him from the outset that my daughter was my priority and it will be at least 6 months before I introduce them. For some reason that didn’t happen, and after a couple of weeks he met her (still to this day I have no idea why I did this. The arguments started, he would tell me how I should be raising MY daughter.
He would constantly undermine me if I told her off, took my cigarettes off me then he would stand at the back door and smoke all them while refusing to return them back. At one point he even burnt a £10 pound note over my sink to show me how ungrateful I was even though he knew I was skint and needed the money to provide for my daughter.
He decided he wanted me to have his baby, I said ‘no’ so he took it into his own hands and burnt my contraception, I tried to end it several times in the 4four weeks we were together. Although the first time I stupidly begged him to stay because he threatened to blow my friends head off, numerous times he threatened to have my daughter taken away from me.
It all came to a head one night when I found out he cheated on me, I ended it. He told me he was going to kill himself, he even text his dad the same thing then threw the phone at me and left. I phoned the police who came to tell me he was OK.
While questioning me they said he was emotionally abusive towards me and had raped me, they asked me to press charges but I said no. He was arrested but without my statement he had to be released without charge. He contacted me saying he loved me and promising all sorts , I even got a form sent to him about a domestic violence course.
I was classed by the police as high risk and had social services out, I was told until they done some digging I wasn’t to have him in the house. They came out to see me and told me they were going to close the case and if I wanted him in my life it was up to me, but to take thing slowly and they would be back out if there was any more police involvement.
We saw each other a few times as friends but never around my little girl. I always felt pressed into sex so I told him it was over, no more contact. That’s when he started threatening to take me hostage, to watch my back and fear for any suspicious packages through my door.
My little girl was asleep in bed, I wasn’t taking any risks so phoned the police and someone came out. The next day I had social services came to inform me that my little girl was now under child protection section, social services came out with the police and told me in no uncertain terms that I had put my child at serious risk of harm. I held my hands up, told them I know I messed up and will never forgive myself.
Can I also point out that in the two years since my husband left me this was the first man I had been with, so I wasn’t having loads of different men in and out. I have now signed a working agreement, to agree to no contact, but am still waiting to hear whether it is going to conference or not, I am hopeful it won’t and the case will be closed as they have said they have no concerns about my parenting just about him and believe me he is well and truly gone from mine and my daughters life.
My little girl is my world and I’ve let her down once no way am I risking losing her for the sake of a man.
