Dating Magazine

I Can’t Wait to Be Famous

By Aussalorens

I forgot what day of the week it is and what year we're in, so I only have the shortest of updates for you. I'm putting it in a list because I've written so much this week that I don't remember how paragraphs work.

1. I revised 24,694 words last week. This is a huge ass deal for me because it took all of January and February for me to get through 28,235 words. I'm not good at maths but I feel like this means I might actually hit my goal of getting this second draft done by the third week in April:

I can’t wait to be famous

2. I'm about to go to a Matisyahu concert in Boulder and my 2005 self is super excited about this, though to be fair my 2005 self was mired in debilitating depression and despair, so that's not really saying much.

3. Writing my book is causing me to experience very volatile mood swings:

10:21AM - "This book is the shit. I can't wait to wow the world."

10:26AM - "I'm wasting my life. This is embarrassing."

10:56AM - "Oh my gosh, people half my age are so much more successful than me, I don't even know how to write a scene that isn't just a bunch of people nodding and smiling and walking across rooms"

11:02AM - "Can't wait to be famous."

4. The guy who first texted me to let me know my ex was sending my naked photos around tried to friend me on Facebook, which totally freaked me out and now he's blocked and I hope he isn't reading this right now, but if he is: Hey, thanks so much for starting that chain reaction of justice-serving drama but let's please just be footnotes in each other's lives, thanks.

5. There's a special place in hell for people who use Bible verse memes to passive aggressively antagonize people on Facebook.

6. FREE ADVICE: Don't steal people's jokes off twitter and try to pretend like you/your child came up with them. People are smarter than that + there are people like me who are very intentional about not having to use their brains during the workday and therefore have a lot of energy to use in tracking your bullshit. Also, gross.

7. I saw Beauty and The Beast and it was everything I ever wanted it to be- even if it doesn't really pass the Bechdel test and is somewhat problematic because if you're escaping a captor and he gets attacked by wolves you don't stop to hep him, you say "who's a good boy, you're a good boy", and toss treats at the wolves while running away as fast as possible.

8. You guys are a bunch of delightful weirdos. I legit thought you'd all quit me after I blogged about my ambitious thrill-seeking hermit crab because that's so damn random, but I got 30 new e-mail subscribers that day. I'm thinking about starting a hermit crab niche blog, because I'm nothing if not opportunistic.

9. I wore my "Of Course I Love Pygymy Goats!" shirt while hiking on Saturday (the first ever goat that was sent to me, via Jennie Saia) and a woman on the trail was like "Yeah, goats are cute!" and I forgot I was wearing the shirt so I was like "soulmate!" which abruptly ended that conversation.

I can’t wait to be famous

10. I have things to tell you about. Let me try and re-orient myself to time and space and I'll be back soon.

Any terrible people to rant about, or existential crises to share?

I can’t wait to be famous

You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • Is High Cholesterol Dangerous on A Low-Carb Diet?

    Is high cholesterol dangerous on a low-carb diet? For some people, the "bad" LDL cholesterol goes up, while other aspects improve (like the "good" HDL... Read more

    By  Dietdoctor
  • [NYC] Go! Go! Curry!: Dinner in a Hurry!

    [NYC] Curry!: Dinner Hurry!

    This post is going to be quick and dirty, just like a meal at Go! Go! CURRY! in NYC. After hippoCHAN finished class, it was already pretty late and we were... Read more

    By  Foodobyte
  • Choose the Right Generator for the Right Purpose [Infographic]

    Choose Right Generator Purpose [Infographic]

    Choosing the right generator for the task is very important but sometimes we find it difficult to pick the right one as there are many options available. Read more

    By  Kravelv
  • My Garden Right Now

    Garden Right

    I'm writing this post specifically in order to participate in Michelle Chapman's meme called #mygardenrightnow. If you want to know the full story behind this,... Read more

    By  Mwillis
  • Most Sociable and Friendly Cities in the World

    Most Sociable Friendly Cities World

    The most sociable cities of the world were revealed by booking website “Hostelworld” following a study which covered 39 cities in 28 countries. Read more

    By  Poundtravel
  • Getting Summer Ready with Herbs & More

    Getting Summer Ready with Herbs More

    Hey beautifuls, hope you all are doing great. Mumbai is burning, and perhaps I am seeing the hottest February since the time I have come to the city. Read more

    By  Jhilmil D Saha
  • The Atomic Bomb

    Atomic Bomb

    Richard Rhodes' history of the development of the atomic bomb, The Making of the Atomic Bomb, is now thirty years old. The book is crucial reading for anyone wh... Read more

    By  Dlittle30