Pamela Meyer is the author of the book, LieSpotting: Proven Techniques to Detect Deception. In this TED lecture in 2011, she offers many very useful tips on how to spot a liar.
Below are the notes I took from the video. [Words between brackets colored teal are mine.]
Some Facts About Lying
1. On any given day, we lie or are lied to from 10 to 200 times.
2. Lying is a cooperative act: A lie is effective only when another cooperates with it because it’s something we want. That is why although we say we’re against lying, covertly (secretly) we’re for it.
3. We lie 3 times within 10 minutes of meeting a stranger.
4. We lie more to strangers than to people we know.
5. Extraverts lie more than introverts. [Politicians are extraverts!]
6. Men lie 8 times more about themselves than women; women lie more to protect others.
7. We lie once in every 10 interactions with our spouse. The number drops to 3 if you’re unmarried.
8. The more intelligent the species, the larger the cerebral cortex, the more likely is the species to be deceptive. That suggests lying has an evolutionary advantage.
9. Human beings lie almost from the very beginning:
- Babies already deceive: They fake a cry, then pause and watch to see if anyone buys their fake crying.
- One-year-olds know how to conceal.
- Two-year-olds bluff.
- Five-year-olds lie outright, e.g., they manipulate with flattery.
- Nine-year-olds have mastered the coverup.
- By college age, humans like to their parents in one out of 5 interactions.
- By the time we enter the working world, we’re immersed in lies and deception.
Lie Spotting: How to Spot a Liar
There are two patterns of deception: Speech and Body Language.
1. Speech:
- Non-contracted denial: A denial that is over-determined, i.e., employs formal, instead of informal, language to deny. Example: Bill Clinton said, “I did not have sex with that woman . . . Miss Lewinsky.”
- Distancing language: Use of language that (unconsciously) distances the speaker from the subject. Example: “I did not have sex with that woman.”
- Qualifying language: e.g., “to tell the truth”; “in all candor”.
- Repeating the question in its entirety.
- Over-sharing: Peppering one’s account with too much detail.
2. Body language:
Freud said, “No mortal can keep a secret. If his lips are silent, he chatters with his fingertips.”
- Liars, instead of fidgeting, actually freeze their upper bodies when they’re lying.
- Liars look you in the eye a little too much, to compensate for the myth that liars avoid eye contact.
- Liars smile a fake smile, i.e., they smile only with their mouth, but not with their eyes, which can’t be faked.
- Attitude: An honest person is cooperative, on your side; enthusiastic, willing and helpful in getting to the truth, willing to brainstorm, provide details; feels infuriated if falsely accused, not just in flashes but throughout the entire course of the interview or conversation; favors strict, instead of lenient punishment for transgressors. A deceptive person is withdrawn; looks down; lowers his voice; pauses; peppers his story with lots of and irrelevant details; tells the story in strict chronological order.
- Giveaway body language (beginning at 11:40 mark):
- Shaking our head when we say “yes” (e.g., Democrat VP candidate John Edwards).
- Shrugging our shoulders when we tell a convincing lie.
- Duping delight: Smiling with delight at getting away with a terrible crime (e.g., O. J. Simpson).
- Masking the real expression that leaks out in a flash, e.g., murderers often mask sadness.
- (Beg. at 13:02 mark)The most important and dangerous masked expression that we need to look out for is CONTEMPT, i.e., moral superiority. The masked expression of contempt is marked by one lip corner pulled up and in, e.g., Dick Cheney.
An even more obvious sign of contempt is surreptiously and slyly giving America the middle finger, as in this:
- Other indicators of deception:
- Liars shift their blink rate
- Liars point their feet toward an exit.
- Liars put barrier objects between themselves and the person interviewing or conversing with them.
- Liars alter their vocal tone, often much lower.
How to Spot a Truth-Teller: What the Truth Looks like
1. Meyer used a video of Diane Downs — a murderous mother who lied about shooting her kids at close range — and points to the discrepancy between Downs’ cool demeanor and a great tragedy. Even more telling is Downs’ creepy smile after talking about her children’s death — Duping Delight.
2. Meyer then contrasts the video of the lying mother with a video of Ellen Runnion — a grieving mother confronting her daughter’s murderer-torturer in court. Runnion showed no false emotion, but only the authentic raw emotion of a mother in agony.
Does this remind you of all the videos of the Sandy Hook parents who supposedly lost their children to alleged mass murderer Adam Lanza? See:
- Crisis Acting or True Grief? – You Decide
- Sandy Hook dad goes from laughing to grieving in blink of an eye
~Eowyn
