I thought this post deserved 2 parts due to its complexity, so here’s Part 2. Please read Part 1 if you haven’t yet, as it will lead into this section.
In Part 1, we discussed how truly feeling your emotions will help them to pass more quickly. We must allow ourselves to be consumed by our emotions for a while and really feel them, before we can effectively let them go and move forward.
I want to stress that this action DOES NOT have to be completed alone! In most cases, it is best to talk to a friend.
For women especially, our thought processes often depend on communication and connection. You will notice in your life that revelations often occur through talking with others. It is often not until we express our feelings out loud to another human being that we truly understand their magnitude and effect on us.
Friends can help us get to places emotionally that would be extremely difficult to get to on our own. Companionship and camaraderie have emotional value that is difficult to quantify.
Let me tell you about a study I once heard about…
Individuals were placed at the foot of a hill and asked to judge how steep the incline of that hill was.
Then, pairs of people were placed at the foot of the same hill and asked the same question.
The people who were alone viewed the hill as MUCH steeper than those who had a partner.
Life’s problems seem more manageable when we have someone next to us- never forget this.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, talk to someone! Find someone you trust, and talk with them.
I hear 2 buts…
But #1: “but… nobody will understand what I’m feeling, I’m not supposed to be feeling this way, and I should be feeling a different way. They will judge me.”
But #2: “but… I don’t want to bother anyone. I will find a way to deal with this by myself. It’s not a big enough issue to involve anyone else. I don’t want to waste their time.”
PLEASE don’t let yourself succumb to these “buts”.
When you express your true emotions to someone you trust you will find time and time again that they actually DO understand and WANT to help. And most of the time, they have been in your shoes before.
We often build up situations in our head as unique and one-of-a-kind. We don’t think people can understand our perspective because we view our perspective as being “abnormal”.
Your friends and family understand more than you think they do. No matter how dark or twisted you think your problem is, chances are they won’t see it that way, and they will be able to relate.
And best of all, they WANT to help you. They want to support you and love you; you just have to let them.
Humans need connection.
We all need on a very fundamental level to be understood and supported. We need conversation, hugs, and encouragement every single day. So never be afraid to reach out, talking about our emotions will help remove their hold on us.
Read The Power of a Definition-Part 1 for even more information on how to let go of negative feelings and have the life you deserve.