Bad dates suck, but it’s probably not as cringe-worthy as a miserable first date. There are extremes, of course. Hurling on your dates’ shoes, or having your date hit on someone else in front of you are pretty clear examples. But according to the survey compiled by HowAboutWe.com, there are some basic no-brainers to follow if you want to ever to have the chance of seeing your date again. These are their top 10:
10) Talking about marriage or a wedding/Panicking the Crap out of Him
It really isn’t a huge shocker that a woman showing up on a first date with her wedding book planner in tow isn’t going to get a call back. Nothing screams ‘desperate much?’ as broaching the topic of marriage. That includes asking him how many children he wants (‘We’d have the cutest kids!’) or what type of family you can see raising with him. About the only thing you’ll be raising are the hairs on his neck and his hand for the check.
9) Talking about your mother/A Momma’s Boy Isn’t Boyish, It’s Sad
Ah, gents… even if you think your mother is an angel/a saint/walks on water- women don’t want to hear it. There’s the inevitable comparison between your mother and your date. It’s also setting an impossible bar too high for her to be bothered for a second try. You also might not want to let little things slip, like the fact your mother still does your laundry. Ooh, so not manly- and ooh so needy. No thanks.
8) Talking about your job/Let Me Gag You With My Self-Importance
Work is a huge part of our lives, sure. It makes us feel good to share what we do with the largest part of our day. It’s when you spend the entire evening bitching about your boss, gossiping about co-workers or explaining the evident complexities that only you are capable of… it becomes boring as hell. Are her eyes glazed over? Is he creating a leaning Tower of Pisa out of toothpicks as you drone on? Watch them as they scurry down the street in relief, glad to never hear from you again.
7) Attempting to split the check/No, Really, I Can Pay For Myself
A first date is not the time to throw your weight around financially. Unless you’ve agreed beforehand, there’s nothing more annoying to a man who wants to wine and dine you than to have his attempt ignored. Or undermined. Nothing says I don’t need anything you have to offer than insisting on paying for yourself. He won’t be looking for a second chance at emasculation.
6) Drinking too much/Making a Sloppy Ass Out of Yourself
You might think it’s a good idea to calm down your first-date jitters by a drink or two. Or three. Slobbering all over yourself and your date, slurring, spilling is just generally making yourself the polar opposite of attractive. After such an embarrassing public display, you couldn’t possibly expect to meet your date again. Unless, that is, you’ve blacked out.
5) Being rude to a server/Treating the Wait Staff Like Crap
There’s no excuse for bad behavior (see number 6) but some people think it’s impressive to bully the wait staff or bartenders. It’s usually done aggressively and loudly, so that everyone in the room is paying attention. This is an easy backfire. It makes you come off like a petty little tyrant, not to mention the fact if you behave this way on a first date- what would a relationship be like with you? A definite no-no.
4) Tardiness/Sorry I’m Late But… I Couldn’t Be Bothered
While many things can (and will) go wrong on first dates, being late should never be one of them. Just short of getting caught in a hurricane, showing up early is a must. When you arrive late, with some lame-ass ‘I was in a meeting,’ all it tells your date is that your time is more important. It’s also a big raging hunk of disrespect, asking for them to reciprocate. By never calling you back.
3) Talking about an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend/Bitching About the Ex
Eeew, how tacky. Chatting, complaining, comparing the ex is pretty stupid. On a first date, you’re supposed to be showing your best side, not your worst. It highlights insecurity and gives them way too much information on how un-date-able you are. If you put down your ex (in the misguided hope of elevating your date) it looks childish. If you rave about your exes good points, it appears you’re still clinging to them. Either way, not the smartest move to make.
2) Anything having to do with sex/Bawdy Talk Trying to be Body Talk
It’s a first date. You know nothing of this person or their interests, much less about their attitude to sex. Which clearly means not bringing it up. The high level of discomfort you can create for your date when you attempt lame innuendo, make crass jokes or use the f* word continuously is definitely a deal-breaker. The last word that comes to mind is ‘classy.’ Who wants to date someone that can’t grasp the simple art of conversation? And why should they?
1) Texting or phoning/Chatting With Everyone BUT Your Date
Texting, Tweeting, phoning from the moment you start your date until the moment you finish is… not really a date. The message (pardon the pun) is clear: your date is insignificant and you merely invited them out to watch you chat. It’s one of the most irritating habits, and it’s justifiably the number one turn-off for people on first dates. It kind of defeats the purpose, no? Isn’t going on a date getting to actually know the other person? Either turn your phone off, or don’t ask them out in the first place, dummy.
This list probably seems obvious to many. You may not even realize you could be guilty of one or more of these simple snafus. Yet look at your friends, co-workers, your own experiences- how many first dates have been disastrous? If you really want that second date, try using your common sense at least a little. And don’t forget: your Facebook isn’t going anywhere, but your date might.
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