- Say "sure thing, sweetie" so when you totally screw it up that she is even more disappointed.
- Have the threadlike string break as soon as the kite is in the air.
- Chase the kite across a field.
- Granny knot the string together.
- Have the staple on tail rip off the kite in the first gust of wind.
- Tie it back on with another granny knot.
- Fly the kite upside down for 12 feet and then fall in the ditch trying to gain momentum.
- Have the threadlike string break in a totally different spot.
- Yep, you guess it, granny knot it again.
- Try flipping the angle of the sticks.
- Watch as kite does crazy, drunken monkey spiral dance.
- Run for 5 minutes without stopping (make sure you are 40 years old or more for this) and still mange to get the kite only 8 feet off the ground.
- Ask your 9 year old son for his sage wisdom.
- Totally discount the Johnny Test sounding advice you just got.
- Have the thread break three more times, and add 3 more granny knots.
- Swallow all the "damnits" and "son-of-a-bitches" that are trying to escape.
- Walk little girl back to her house and freak out single mom who is in chair getting her hair pulled through a skull cap by her mom in order to be colored.
- Giggle as she shrieks, "No, don't look!" Bahahahahahhahahahahahaha!
- Find out it was only a $1 kite.
- Go to store and buy and a new freaking kite.
How to Help Your Neighbor/Single Mom's Kid Fly a KiteBy Dmroughton
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