First of all, G-d willing, by the time you have children, you are far beyond your addiction. Most people, I suppose, have children sometime in their early to mid 20’s, have or will soon graduate university, and have realized that their partying years have come and gone and it is finally time to grow up and accept the responsibilities of life. These individuals will, hopefully only get the standard questions, around the time that their kids hit late high school, or college age about whether or not, and perhaps how their parents partied during those same years.
This would be a relatively simple answer to a relatively simple question if the parents had stayed within acceptable limits and partied like normal late teens, early 20 some things during those years. If the parents were addicts during those years, the answer becomes a bit more complicated, but can most likely still be explained via the answer of fairly normal college stupidity.
If the parent is a still an addict by the time their kids are old enough to ask, well that, that is a different story all together. Depending on what stage the addicted parent is at, the harder it is to explain. If the parent is at the stage during which they still require rehab occasionally, then convincing the kids that dad/mom are at some ski resort/spa, in Colorado for 28 days, may get a little tough after awhile you know? If the parent needs in-house treatment, well then, good luck, I suppose. “Hey, didn’t I have a dad?” “Sure honey, but he’s in Japan for the next 3 years working as an advisor to the Prime Minister.”
Obviously keeping these types of excuses up for very long would prove extremely difficult if not impossible. So what then, would appear to be the best way to handle discussing your addiction with your children? To not have to explain it at all! Namely, ending your addiction either before you have children, or, before your children reach an age where who have to explain.
Listen, everyone understands that one should be at a stable point in life before they have children.
Unfortunately life does not always work out as we plan. There are literally a dozen ways to get off of drugs. There are 12 Step programs, Eastern medicine programs, and especially holistic programs, which I prefer by far. Many of these other programs work quite well and if they work for you, in your time frame then by all means use them!!! In my opinion, holistic is the best because it takes into account, the entire person at once. The “whole” addict as it were. The holistic approach deals with mind, body, and spirit.
It also deals with the family immediately, so that there are no more secrets, no more lies. There can be no addiction, if every channel that the addict can possibly use to get their drugs is cut off. The family is made aware, all of the friends are made aware, doctors and therapists are all made aware, and once everyone knows, it is extremely difficult to sneak around or “Doctor Shop” to get drugs or “medications”.
My advice? Find a good holistic doctor, and discuss everything with them. Tell them your entire life story. The more you tell them the better, because the more they will have to work with.
Believe me, you DO NOT want to get the point when you will need to sit down with your children and explain to them why you are (still) an active addict. It would be one of the most difficult and most painful experiences of your live.
FAR more painful than the withdrawal of quiting!
