Awkwardness around children
I think we’ve all been there; found ourselves in the company of a three year old, and you have to say something to break the silence. You notice they’re clutching a biscuit, and you blurt out all you can think of saying. “So, do you like biscuits?”
If you don’t have children, it can be a bit of a challenge to know what to say to them, leading to awkward silences where the child really doesn’t understand why you asked them such a dumb question.
Don’t be a fake!
I see it all the time – people trying to become a ‘favourite’ of toddlers by cooing at them, making silly faces and generally acting very desperate. And then there’s those who try to win favour with older children by buying them lots of things.
Let me tell you this – kids see straight through all of that. If you’re not a genuine person, children won’t take one bit of notice of you.
How do I know this? Because as an auntie of several children already at my age, I learnt long ago that children really don’t appreciate people ‘trying’ to get along with them. By keeping yourself a little distant but engaging with them naturally, they will accept you much more quickly.
I did work experience as a teaching assistant when I was 15, working with 4 to 5 year olds. I quickly noticed that you could gauge the popularity of teachers and assistants by observing how the children responded to them. Even adults who weren’t extra friendly as people were still adored by children, because they just responded naturally and fairly to everyone, and were very attentive to their needs.
The most popular example of someone desperate to win favour with kids is Auntie Angela in the hit UK TV show, “Outnumbered”. She is always trying to get the young kids to like her by buying them lots of things and pretending to take an interest in them. But because she isn’t genuine, the children really have no desire to be with her, leading to cries of ‘oh no, it’s her’ when she arrives at the house.
So, DON’T:
- Patronise children. Going over the top on praise only serves to make you look idiotic.
- Buy children lots of gifts. They’ll be delighted obviously – but with the gifts, not with you.
- Talk when talking is not necessary. You don’t have to fill every bit of silence with stupid questions.
DO:
- Talk to children as an equal, like you.
- Embrace silence, it’s natural and normal, and kids won’t look down on you for it.
- Be an honest person, children see straight through any false pretences.
