Family Magazine

How Long Should I Wait Before…

By Shaybanks @dnceluv

I get these timeline questions a lot. So I thought I would compile the most asked ones in a simple post that could be referred to time and time again.

…I sleep with him?

Sleep with him somewhere after the 4th date. No wait…I think it’s 90 days, right? No! I forgot, you’re supposed to wait ‘til you’re married or engaged. With all these different rules, what should you do?

Here’s the truth.

I have a friend who met and married her husband in less than a month and 5 years later, they’re still super in love. My rule of thumb is to sleep with him when you are comfortable and when you have seen that his actions do not contradict his words.

…I give him my number?

A guy that just asks for your number without having a conversation with you is a little suspicious to me. But a guy that has talked to you, gotten to know you a bit, and seems interested in you can have your number.  Now if he doesn’t use it, it’s important to just lose his and move on to the next.

…I call him after a date?

You shouldn’t. I mean, I’m sure he followed up after the date to say “I had a great time,” right? Well, that was your chance to say “I did too. Can’t wait to do it again,” or something like that. After that, the ball is in his court. If you call him now, you will be forever chasing this boy throughout the duration of your dating.

…I introduce him to my friends/family?

Wait until you’ve gotten to know him. This means longer than a month, ladies. Some men are really good at keeping up appearances for awhile before showing their ass! Wait until you have seen him at his worst (and you survived) and then show him to your friends.

…I move in with him.

After you’ve gotten engaged. I know this is a new day and age and it’s ok to shack up with a man you love. I too, once thought that. That is until I read this and this. Long story short, if you want to be with him for the long run, don’t move in until you’ve got a ring.

…I tell him what my relationship goals are?

This is where men and women differ. As women, we tell other women what we’re doing or going to do. Men don’t tell, they do. Women read into words. Men read into actions. How does this apply to you?

If your goal is to be married or to have a serious relationship, show him with your actions. Don’t accept his late night attempts at getting you to come over. Don’t start cleaning up his apartment or cooking him dinner every night. Just hold yourself with high esteem. He’ll come to respect that and understand that you’re not just some floozy who’s giving away her panties to every Tom, Dick, and Harry.

…I start demanding more of his time?

You shouldn’t. If he wants you in his life, he’ll make time. Period. Your nagging about wanting to be implanted in his life is falling on deaf ears.

…I start dating after a break-up?

This is a tough one because everyone is different. I’d say you need at least a couple of months off before jumping back into the dating pool again. I say this because the chances are very high you’ll end up attracting a man that is very similar to the last guy you dated. If the last guy you dated was an ass…that may not be such a good thing.


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