Divorce Magazine

Hope and Disappointment

By Conroy @conroyandtheman
by Conroy
Forgive me some philosophical musings, but a couple of recent events have rekindled a line of thinking.
[Note an important caveat, the following post is based mostly on my thoughts and observations, not from my experience. This is a critical distinction.]
Hope and DisappointmentTen days ago, to modest fanfare, Prince William, the future King of England, married Kate Middleton. Yesterday, another celebrity couple's marriage all but ended when Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver announced their separation. They have been married for 25 years.
On reading the news today, I couldn't help but contrast these two marriages because it brings up a central dilemma that has dominated my adult thinking: how can you be sure that a marriage will succeed? I've never been married, so I can't attempt to answer that question. And I won't write about what I don't know. Instead, think about all the hoopla surrounding the Royal Wedding.
I'm sure much of the attention in Britain and the rest of the world is the result of the princess/fairy tale nature of this type of (rare) wedding, but that aside, in many ways this event differs only in scale from most other weddings. After all, weddings are accompanied by large celebrations. Perhaps the largest celebrations the bride and groom will ever experience. I see weddings as an occasion for celebration because the wedding, representing the marriage, is a great symbol of hope. As I've written before, hope is that intrinsic human ability to see better for the future. Marriage at it's core is about hope. The belief that you have found lasting love, happiness, and companionship in someone else. That there is someone you can share your life with. That your marriage will succeed.
Divorce is the opposite; a disappointment, indeed the greatest of disappointments.The realization that love, happiness, companionship do not last forever. I choose my words carefully here, divorce isn't the greatest tragedy, worse things can happen, the death of a loved one for instance, but I doubt anything can ever be as disappointing.
I find it deeply unsettling that such antithetical perspectives, the highest hope and the deepest disappointment, are so intimately attached to marriage. Most of the people we know are, have been, or will be married at some point. And we all know marriages that have failed. What does this teach us? What guarantees are there that a happy wedding day won't lead to a discouraging split? Surely, relationships are doomed without dedication, work, loyalty, trust, and many other similar behaviors and attitudes. But is that enough?
By most estimates,  somewhere between 40% and half of American marriages end in divorce. One could reasonably assume that a sizable proportion (10-20%?) of those marriages that don't end in divorce would be described by one or both spouses as unsatisfying for one reason or another. So half or more of marriages fail. That's a depressing statistic.
Nevertheless, I'll get married. I have hope that marriage can succeed (I only have to look to my parents for the finest exemplar of marital achievement). The same hope that captivated the world watching William and Kate. Disappointments like divorce are part of life, but they can't, and more accurately, they won't stop us from reaching for the better.

You Might Also Like :

Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog

These articles might interest you :

  • A Heartfelt Letter to My First Child - I Miss Those Times Too

    Heartfelt Letter First Child Miss Those Times

    For those of us who chose to have more than one kid, have you ever thought of how life would be if you had only one? You would have so much more time for... Read more

    14 hours, 28 minutes ago by   A Happy Mum
  • This is How to Put Together a Fabulous Outfit In Minutes

    This Together Fabulous Outfit Minutes

    Putting together a stylish outfit everyday doesn't have to be tricky. In fact I've come up with a simple formula that you can use over and over for all... Read more

    14 hours, 31 minutes ago by   Imogenl
  • Cream Scones (Anneka Manning)

    Cream Scones (Anneka Manning)

    version;It was the end of a typical school day as the kids were streaming out from their classes..."Hi Sweetie!""Mum, we baked scones at school today.""Sounds... Read more

    15 hours, 3 minutes ago by   Zoebakeforhappykids
  • Blind Fear

    I write a lot about Love, about Justice, about Intuition- about all the essential things that see without seeing. I think a lot about blind spots, about the... Read more

    The 19 July 2017 by   Rarasaur
  • Self-Transcendence 3100 Mile Race 2017 – Daily Updates – Day 31 – Alan Young

    Self-Transcendence 3100 Mile Race 2017 Daily Updates Alan Young

    Latest news, Multiday News, Self-Transcendence 3100 Mile Race Self-Transcendence 3100 Mile Race 2017 - Daily Updates - Day 31 Daily Diary Tuesday 18th July -... Read more

    The 19 July 2017 by   Abichal
  • Review: Hir (Steppenwolf Theatre)

    Review: (Steppenwolf Theatre)

    In Mac's kitchen-sink drama, the meek shall inherit the earth Review by Catey Sullivan Early on in Taylor Mac's Hir , the playwright offers up a monologue... Read more

    The 19 July 2017 by   Chicagotheaterbeat
  • How to Find a Foundation Repair Company

    Do you own a house? If this is the case, you might eventually encounter some problems with your home’s foundation. These problems can become very serious if the... Read more

    The 19 July 2017 by   Peppertan

Paperblog Hot Topics