Diaries Magazine

Home Care Horror Monday : Part 4

By Parentalparody @parental_parody
Home Care Horror Monday : Part 4
Wow, this segment is really getting a lot of interest.  Thank you to those who have suggested items for future issues.  I promise, I am definitely going to dedicate an entire post to the Snuggie.
This week, I thought I’d focus on Meerkat’s.  No, really.
What does the Meerkat have to do with a catalogue dedicated to homewares and home maintenance?
Bugger all, in my opinion.  But those “clever” **  types at Home Care have managed to weave them in to the catalogue to such an extent, that they have earnt themselves an entire post of Home Care Horror Monday
**Disclaimer: clever in the sense of totally inane and Homer Simpson style stupid.
Here’s how they managed it :


Home Care Horror Monday : Part 4

Meerkat Welcome Sign  $16.90


Imagine this lovely little guy at the front door.  Doesn’t it just make you want to go inside and visit the occupant of said house?  No?  Me neither…
But, on the off-chance you do ignore your instincts and go inside, this is what you’ll spot next :


Home Care Horror Monday : Part 4

Meerkat Family  $19.90


In the photo, they’ve been placed outdoors.  However, I’m fairly confident that the person who has the Meerkat welcome at their front door, would invariably keep this lovely family of 3 indoors.  To keep them warm in winter and cool in summer.
By now you’re feeling uneasy.  You’re searching for your quickest escape route.  You spot the back door and attempt to make a casual bee-line for it.
As you get outside you are flooded with a sense of relief.  Until you see this :

Home Care Horror Monday : Part 4

Set of 4 Individual Meerkat's  $59.00
Yeah I know, there's only 3 in the online pic.
There's 4 in the catalogue.  More Meerkat for your money


Your relief is replaced by panic.  These are some bad ass Meerkat’s, as evidenced by the bandana toting Homey.  He's the leader of the pack.  Word.
RUN.  GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN AND NEVER EVER COME BACK!
This house is clearly occupied by a deranged psycho who has willingly forked out a grand total of $95.80 plus delivery for their multiple Meerkat – their insanity knows no bounds and their credit card should be cut up.  Get them a padded helmet STAT.
I award the Meerkat mob / gang / clan a collective rating :

Home Care Horror Monday : Part 4

Home Care Horror Rating : 5/5


For shizzle I Googled it, and those are the terms the Google Gods responded with for a group of Meerkat - I'm telling you, they are totally badass with such menacing references when referred to in the group form.
But seriously, what up with all the Meerkattage?
Are they trending on Twitter and I didn’t notice?
Is Paris Hilton carrying one around in her poncey overpriced pet carrier / handbag instead of her usual itty bitty rat dogs?
Did Justin Bieber finally admit that his hair is really a toupee made from Meerkat fur?  (Fear not, PETA types, it would invariably be a faux Meerkat toupee in order to protect his squeaky clean Tween-friendly image).
Sidebar : Quick shout out to Mrs Woog @ Woogsworld – would there be a market for a Meerkat merkin, if Justin Bieber did in fact start a global trend of Meerkat toupee’s?

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