Diaries Magazine

Home Care Horror Monday : Part 3

By Parentalparody @parental_parody
Home Care Horror Monday : Part 3
I'm not sure anything can possibly compete with last week's beer glass, but here we go....
Today we explore the phenomenon that is "unique" or "kitsch" salt and pepper shaker sets.  Sure, salt and pepper shakers are nothing new - but, have you RECENTLY (say, in the past 30 years) seen any of these suckers being offered up as new (not second hand shop material) or worthy of glossy catalogue spruiking?
There appears to be an all-animal theme on these.  I must've missed that trend memo?

Home Care Horror Monday : Part 3

Chicken Design Salt & Pepper Shakers  $10.90

They are not disgusting.  In fact, I wouldn't balk at them if I saw them on a table. I actually think my own mother may have a set of these or similar.  But still....they're a little bit ugh and part of a worrying trend displayed inside this catalogue, therefore, they make the shit list.

Home Care Horror Monday : Part 3

Home Care horror rating : 1/5

Next up in the animal themed salt and pepper shaker department :

Home Care Horror Monday : Part 3

Ceramic Cat Salt & Pepper Set  $9.90

CATastrophic.  The designers have seen the clear line between cutesy and nauseating and pole vaulted over it.  I am a cat lover, but I would not be caught dead shaking these.  I would be very wary of anyone who owned a set.  Crazy psycho stalker wary.  The only person who may possibly own a set of these, is a crazy old cat lady.  And even that is a cheap shot at a well known stereotype.

Home Care Horror Monday : Part 3

Home Care horror rating : 3/5
I'm being nice because I like cats.  Other animals would rate 4/5

The following comes as a set, since the shakers were a bit too bland on their own, apparently :

Home Care Horror Monday : Part 3

Donkey Figurine with Salt & Pepper Shakers  $19.90

Maximum ass.  You'd have to be a dumb ass to design or buy this product.  You couldn't just whack a set of regular, run of the mill shakers in the catalogue, could you, Home Care innovators?  No, you had to jazz it up with an ass of a holder.  It is missing a piece of straw hanging out of its mouth.  And perhaps its own straw hat, with the ears sticking up through the sides.  May as well go completely ass-about, no?
If you ever see one of these, do the world a favour and smash it.  Please.

Home Care Horror Monday : Part 3

Home Care horror rating : 4/5

And just so you don't think me evilly cruel for relentlessly pulling the piss out of this one catalogue, take a look at what I found in my own home.  None of which were purchased by yours truly, and none of which are owned or used by yours truly.  The #1 Grandmother takes full name and shame blame for these gems :

Home Care Horror Monday : Part 3

Oinkus maximus

Home Care Horror Monday : Part 3

Tragedy struck, the matching shakers fell and smashed while I was manouvering this bad boy for the pic.  They did sit on either side of the head.  Of course.

Home Care Horror Monday : Part 3

Hola Amigo's!  These are kind of cute in a European way.  Right?  No?  Okay

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