Her Story

I was listening to the radio this morningAs I walked my dogsI love listening to phone in and chat showsThere's something comforting about listening to others speak And not having to contributeI usually listen to the same show every dayIt's a phone in show, with all sorts of topics and guestsI can't walk without listening to somethingBecause I don't want to listen to my own head
This morning a girl called Ciara was interviewed The chat started out in a general wayAnd I wasn't sure about where it was goingCiara spoke about when she was a childAnd how she compared herself to othersAnd how she felt uglyShe was bullied as a childAnd this confirmed all the negative beliefs she had about herselfI think I knew where this was headingAs it sounded very much like my own story As a teenager Ciara developed anorexiaShe stopped eatingOr purged anything she did eatAnd started exercisingHer family got her in to therapyBut she was totally resistant to itCiara described herself as a perfectionistA stereo typical anorectic 
When age was a bit olderCiara was admitted to John of Gods psychiatric hospital in DublinAnd did the eating disorder programme there Under Dr. Terence LarkinMy ears pricked up as I heard thisAs this is the hospital I've been in many timesI had to laugh as I heard her comment that Dr. Larkin wore lovely socksBecause he did!
She described how she played the staff thereToms them what they wanted to hearBut still maintained her disorderShe also described how she picked up tricks in hospital from the other girlsI am with Ciara in this oneSometimes hospital can be like a school for EDsYou learn more about the disorderMaybe how to purgeHow to manipulate your weightHow to hide your disorderSimilar to a criminal going to prison and becoming a better criminalGoing to treatment can help you learn more about your disorder
This admission didn't workAnd Ciara continued to starve and purgeShe was then admitted to St. Patrick's hospital in DublinWhere she completed the eating disorder programme thereI was also I this hospitalHowever my experience was not as positive as Ciaras This was the start of her recoveryThen her Grandad died And Ciara began to re evaluate her lifeShe began seeing a therapist in her home townAnd described how she saved her lifeShe is now in recoveryShe also writes a good blog over on Wordpress Which I had a look at
I loved listening to Ciaras storyIt is similar to mineAnd yet different She says herself that she is lucky to be alive I feel that way tooI was just talking with my addiction counselor Breda yesterdayHow I am so lucky to have made it out relatively unscathedConsidering what I have been throughI am not doing too badly Ciaras story is testament to how things can turn around for usThat there is always hopeAnd recovery is always possibleShe described how recovery is not a destinationIt's a processWe never arrive at recoveryWe are always on a stage of it
I have no doubt that I was meant to hear this story todayI firmly believe that situations are put in our way to help usWe all have a storyAnd those of us with EDs and addiction have a very important storyI am hoping that through this blogThat my story resonates with someoneAnd helps them feel not so aloneMy blog is not about telling people how to recoverHeck, I am only just figuring that out for myselfBut my blog is as much for you as it is for meI love to read honestyAnd gear honesty at meetings When I hear honestyIt almost gives me permission to be honest toAnd that in turn encourages others to be honestIt's s chain reaction
I am doing well at the momentI met a good friend yesterdaySomeone that I haven't seen in yearsWe went for teaHad a great chatAnd then got a meetingMeetings are helping more than anything right nowI'm getting outMeeting peopleTalking to peopleMaking new friendsIt's truly amazing how things can turn around
I am full of hope these days Not just for meBut for you tooHearing Ciaras story today has done me the world of good It just goes to showThat if you surround yourself with positive people and thingsThen that will rub off on you
Today is a good day Everything is exactly how it shouldAnd I for one am glad to be alive