Baseball Magazine

Hallelujah! Daric Barton Now Selling Churros in Sacramento.

By Gary

butt It is hot in Los Angeles right now. I mean hot! My house is from the 1930′s or 40′s era, so there is no air conditioning. The dog is miserable, and my only respite is a 6 pack. Yesterday I fell asleep on the floor next to the one tiny fan that I own watching a Black Sabbath documentary. Good times.

On to the BIG NEWS: The Oakland Athletics have acquired Kyle Blanks from the Padres, effectively pushing Daric Barton out of town. Barton was not much loved in Oakland…yet we will miss his churros. Will he clear waivers? Probably. Which means he will be selling churros in Sacramento with the AAA River Cats. Blanks doesn’t have to do much besides provide a little sock and not be Daric Barton which means he is already halfway to achieving his and our goals. Here are some of the reactions of a few fans of this page:

***Please, somebody pick this piece of shit up so he is never seen in the green and gold again.

***Even coming off a loss…this is the best day of the season so far

***Amen! I whooped when I read this.

***Fucking send Limp Johnson with him too, guy is fucking horrible.

***Please say it’s true!

Asked about making an impact with the A’s, Blanks said, “Any time I look back, the biggest thing for me is, when I’m healthy I’ve been able to do well.”

He’s healthy now.

Churro vendor season stats: 57 AB’S, 9 hits, 0 HR’S, .158 average


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