Guest Post: Step Away From the Mirror, Before Someone Gets Hurt!
Sunday, June 24, 2012
That’s
right, I said it. I say it to myself at least thrice a day, and today,
I feel like screaming it down the halls of my girls dorm. It’s awful.
It's constant.
The pause. The glance. Now the look. And there’s the face. Dissatisfaction. Disgust.
We
poke at the spots we think are too large, or squishy. We guilt trip
ourselves after every meal, and spend hours inspecting every square inch
of ourselves, searching for flaws. It’s like we want to find them.
Oh,
and here’s my favorite. We compare. We compare our personalities; she
laughs at just the right moments, she's so outgoing, her laugh is cute,
I never know how to react to jokes, I'm just so afraid I'll say the
wrong thing, my laugh is SO obnoxious.
We compare our bodies... Oh BOY do we compare our bodies; I wish I had that little space between my legs when I stand, I wish my stomach was as flat as her’s, she has such a great butt, my boobs are too small, her skin is so great, I wish I were as tan as she is, she has such great hair... really I could go on all week. So now is the time for me to ask.... WHAT THE FIERY FURNACE ARE WE DOING? Chicas (y chicos tambien), we are doing EXACTLY what we are trying to avoid. We're working against ourselves. We are hurting ourselves. The thought came to me today - its epic so brace yourselves... are you ready? Okay: Confidence has nothing to do with appearance and everything to do with attitude. Correlation does not equal causation. What do I mean by this, you may ask? (lets just pretend you asked) We're our own haters. And your hater blockers; the makeup, the sunglasses, the forced laugh and overbearing attempt to please; they're a dead giveaway. We want to be accepted, we want to be attractive or fun. But, we just keep neglecting the fact that what makes us attractive is who we are. And when you walk out the door telling yourself how ugly you are, how unworthy and incapable you are, you've already condemned yourself to not being you. Its called a self-fulfilling prophecy. And I get it. Some of us have been through some crap. Some of us have been told we're not good enough, it's been suggested that we aren't attractive enough or outgoing enough, or that our laugh is obnoxious, that we should be more girly or that we're intimidating. Sometimes there are things that need to be changed, but you're not stupid. You know the difference. Stop trying to change who you are. When we do this to ourselves it affects every part of our lives. We may not work as hard because we expect to fail. Relationships are strained for so many reasons. On and on. Yeah, so what if you're damaged goods? This isn’t Walmart. Damaged does NOT mean cheap, so don't you dare stoop to that level. Your worth has nothing to do with what someone said or says or does. Here’s the kicker. We all want to be loved, but just as a flame and dark room cannot coexist, love and hate just don’t mix. When we hate ourselves we hinder ourselves and the ability to draw closer to the ones who love us. I need this reminder every day, and I'm sure I’ll take crap the next time I'm being hard on myself. But today I decided that I, me – the real me – is going to take each day as it comes. I hope you will challenge yourself to do the same. Peace.
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Emily Norton is a student, follower of Jesus Christ, feminist and music junkie. She loves volunteering, coffee shop atmospheres, cheesy horror flicks and anything vintage. She is also a sucker for great song lyrics, half-off day at Goodwill and a good mystery. Blog: emily-norton.blogspot.com Twitter: @ThatNortonGirl
