Back in the day, a man would wait three days after a date to call. Few people have the time or patience for that in 2014. In fact, a Match.com survey found that more than 50 percent of women now follow up first. Not only have certain gender roles changed, but technology also has changed how we communicate in the dating world.
So, if you recently had a first date that went well, reaching out in the right way is the best possible chance at a second. Here are three ideas on how to do exactly that:
1. Share a Relevant Story or Video
You talked for hours, either about a variety of topics or your shared passions. You can show that you were truly listening by sharing a relevant story or video to help get that second date.
Did you talk about your love of food? Send a review of a favorite restaurant—preferably one that your date has never eaten at—and suggest going there. Do you both enjoy scary movies? Send the trailer to an upcoming release on your must-see list. Not only do sharing these links remind him or her of your connection, they also give you an opening to ask for a follow-up outing.
2. Choose Your Mode of Communication Wisely
Age often contributes to how a person communicates after a date, states the Match.com survey. Calling remains the preferred method for all ages and is followed by texting, emailing and instant messaging, respectively for those ages 21 to 34. Those in the 35 to 44 range agreed with the younger group about calling and instant messaging but ranked emailing over texting.
No matter your age, keep the other person’s expectations in mind. If it took a phone call to secure the date, follow up with the same medium to show consistency in your level of interest. Or, if you want to show that you really enjoyed the outing, go above and beyond the norm. If you typically communicate electronically, pick up the phone. As eHarmony points out, moving from characters to a voice can show your charming side.
3. Send Flowers
Do not underestimate the power of flowers and a thoughtful card. The gesture not only thanks the person for their time and attention but it shows that you are interested in a second date. When choosing which flowers to send, keep their meanings in mind.
For examples, roses send a romantic message. Choose lilac and purple roses if you hit it off immediately, as they represent enchantment. Orange conveys enthusiasm and desire. Red serves as the symbol of romantic love and enduring passion, which may not be appropriate so early in a relationship. You also can send a favorite flower if you were able to find out what it is during your date.
As for how soon you should follow up, don’t waste time and don’t play games. Reach out the following day and include a suggestion for a second date. If you play coy, your romantic interest may move on.
