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Google Acquires Robots! Perhaps They Will Be Friends With People On Google Plus!

By Nottheworstnews @NotTheWorstNews

The Street reports that Google has acquired a company that makes the world’s fastest robot. A viewing of this CNN video indicates these robots are less Jetson-house-maid-like, and more wearwolves-from-Twilight-transformed-into-military-robots-like.

3 Questions That Arise From This Story

1. “So are you saying these robots could take the robot-vaccuum I bought watching an infomercial in a fight?” Yes, and the Volturi in Twilight.

2. “You’re using a lot of Twilight references today, what’s up with that?” Just wanted to prepare you for dated references since Netflix will have people quoting Futurama and Gossip Girl as if they’re new, until they run out of stuff to watch.

3. “How do I search for one of those fast robots, so I can pretend I’m in the Hunger Games?” Maybe if you look really closely on Google Street View, you will see where they hang out. Or where your cheating boyfriend who has a naturally-pixellated face hangs out. (He should really have that looked at by a doctor.)


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